• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

General Any Married Male Carer's Out There?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Tbam

Learning
I have been reading through the various strings on the carer page (and others pages) and have noticed that in nearly all situations, the carer is a female and the sufferer is a male. It also seems like there are a lot of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships as opposed to married couples. I am wondering if there are any carer's out there that are male and in a marriage situation with a female sufferer?? I have been married 13 years and have two schoolage kids. Looking for someone who is experiencing the same problems and attitudes as me?

Tbam
 
Not many that I've seen Tbam. Harry and Ubu are two married men that come to mind. However. Haven't seen them for quite sometime. Seems there are not as many men in general upon the forum, most especially not carers. Myself, I am a parent, so can't help you there either. Do understand your frustration though somewhat. When the wife were more active, we found little in the way of parents of sufferers to relate to either. All the best to you in any event though. Hope you find another to connect with.

Jim.
 
Tbam,

I'm a sufferer on here but my husband is my carer. I could type for him so he could talk to you if you want? Or maybe he'll join not sure.

PM me if you wish!
 
i am not sure how to PM?? so i am posting back. It is tough. I joined the forum looking for some insight from others in my position but the feeling of aloneness and isolation is growing. There literally seems to be no one with a similar experience. Hoping that someone out there reads this and responds. -tbam
 
Tbam, you can now PM as you have been taken out of moderation. You can't do it until then.

Just click the person's name you want to PM in any thread and you will see the option come up.
 
I joined the forum looking for some insight from others in my position but the feeling of aloneness and isolation is growing. There literally seems to be no one with a similar experience. Hoping that someone out there reads this and responds. -tbam

I am a carer and I mostly lurk on these boards, not posting much as there just isn't as much activity going on in the carer's section than elsewhere (I know, I know, maybe if I posted more instead of lurking...). Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. I totally understand the aloneness and isolation. No one understands our family situation (hey, I don't even understand it). Most people have no clue.

Not much advice for you, but wanted to a give a friendly wave :hello: from a fellow (albeit female) carer.
 
Thanks for the warm thoughts. I am leaning heavily towards filing for divorce and seeking custody of the kids. She has been in a downward spiral for years and I am undermined by a mother in law who is an enabeler.

My wife came to my son's basketball game last night wearing the same sweatpant pajama bottoms she was wearing last Friday and again on Sunday. I am pretty sure she has not changed her clothes in five days. We have been seperated for about 6-7 weeks and there is no evidence that she is improving. I am just rambling, sorry.
 
Tbam,

Altho I can't really understand the carer's end of things, i can see why its hard. I know for me when I go into spiral, I don't take care of myself. Thankfully I am able to pull myself out of it with the help of my hubby and therapist. And with people like you. Maybe she could join this forum? Think that would help? Or would it be too confrontational for the both of you?

Just a thought

Kunoichi
 
i think right now this is my only outlet. i am also concerned that she might get too hooked. About a year ago she was getting into turtles as pets. I encouraged her as it got her off the couch. She got involved with a Turtle Forum, much like this one but for turtle keepers. With in a month or so she was spending 12-14 hours a day on the forum, every day. We got Christmas cards from her friends on the Turtle Forum. Again, while the house was a mess, kids didnt have dinner whatever, it became her obsession in a very unhealthy way. I dont know... i just dont know ....
 
Tbam,

sounds to me like she fixates and isolates. If its a positive thing or distraction (like turtles) its easier to ignore the responsibilities that she has. I know for me that due to a spiral i was in for the last month, i still functioned but i had a hard time cleaning the house and still haven't done my homework because i was focused on the forum or doing this online or whatever, so since then I have limited the amount i'm on even though it is still quite often. little by little minimizing it to a healthy amount..takes time lol
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top