Any Tips To Make My Office Be A More Comforting Place?

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mynameisvictory

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I'm new here.

So. . .at my current position, whenever I have to interact with my direct supervisor, I feel triggered. When she's not there, I don't feel so bad. I am definitely not trying to blame her, but I honestly think about her and feel terrible even when I'm not at work.

She reminds me so much of my mother (a source of much of my trauma). Her bitterness, her whispering about people when they are right in front of her, her never speaking to me unless it is to criticize something I've, her telling me I don't take initiative when in actuality -- every time I ask her if I can do this or do that to help the office (stuff that has to be done anyway) or if I have ideas, she tells me no, no, no. . .but then she comes to me a little later and demands that I do the things I asked her to do originally. She treats me so suspiciously as if I'm the laziest person she's ever met when I'm constantly asking what can I do to help. There's more, but I really don't want to focus on her too much.

Overall, my workplace is not a supportive workplace, but for now, it's the best I can do.

It helps for me now to push my office door up -- it feels like it's shielding some of her negative energy from me.

Anyhow, what do you all do to make your personal office a more comforting place? A nice place in a not-so-nice workplace?

This might sound silly, but when things get really bad for me at my office, I go outside and blow bubbles (I don't mind how immature it looks, it soothes me).

I'm planning on leaving this job when I can find something that suits me better and I hope it will be a better environment. . .I feel like I'm whining and like I'm ungrateful, but I honestly had to start taking my anxiety meds again today (and I really wanted to try to live without them) because I'm having a hard time coping with where I work.
 

bellbird

Sponsor
I go outside and blow bubbles
This is awesome.
I'd imagine it would really help with breath regulation, too.

Some things I have in my office to make that space more comforting are potted plants, pictures on my wall, photos in frames on my desk, reminders of self care and a couple quotes I like written on sticky notes that are stuck to the bottom of my computer monitor, and I always have the blinds open and the light on to make sure the room is well lit. It helps.

I completely relate to working in an environment that is detrimental to your health (a previous workplace, for me), and I don't think you're whining at all. I

think you are being incredibly sensible and proactive by taking anxiety meds and working on creating a little niche of comfort in an otherwise very unpleasant environment, until you're in a better position to leave.

Well done, you :)

(Oh and welcome to the forums! Glad you found us)
 

Deanna

MyPTSD Pro
I'd put in for a transfer. Or, like you say, a better job. I'm so sorry this is happenings to you. It happens to me as well in general public. I don't give a sh4t what people think
 

Sideways

Sponsor
Definitely agree with the pot plants.

I'd also be looking at scents - so an oil diffuser or something similar - and tactile soothing (my go-to was keeping a pair of slippers under the desk). My PA used to play CDs on a small stereo, just calm background music, very low volume, which definitely helped.
 

Friday

Moderator
This might sound silly, but when things get really bad for me at my office, I go outside and blow bubbles (I don't mind how immature it looks, it soothes me).
Not silly at all. Smoke breaks without the lung cancer. Well done.

& ditto @bellbird ...one of the reasons smoking is used by so many people in regular distress is the breath regulation.

Also a strong 2nd for sensory tricks, particularly scent & sound, as both tap into emotion. Personally, I only ever use 1 earbud when I’m out and about, so that my hypervig doesn’t rocket into the stratosphere... and usually cheat with scents, by either applying them directly under my nose, and always keeping a little jar of camphor to hand (that’s what we smear on our masks around decomposing bodies, it’s incredibly powerful, failing camphor? Eucalyptus inhalers are helpful), and vanilla toothpaste / ginger chews / clove candy in my purse. Also, often, a bit of saddle soap & boot polish. Soap & leather is a lovely smell, and whilst I’m not fond of boot polish? It gives me something to do. I looooooove love and adore perfume, but am usually in environments where scents are discouraged to outright banned. Food and unscented soap aren’t banned, however, and no one but me can smell what’s in my mouth! Well. Usually no one but me can smell what’s in my mouth.
 

siniang

MyPTSD Pro
I like to through Lights into the sensory stimulation ring. But I'm a BIG sucker for Lights, particularly color-changing ones.

I have a little essential oil diffuser with a color changing LED ring - two birds with one stone.

I'm personally also currently contemplating moving one of my lava lamps from my home office to my other office that I'm spending way more time at these days. It's incredibly calming to watch those bubbles move about. + color light therapy.

And ditto re plants! I have a very black thumb, but I do enjoy seeing my little orchid on my desk.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
Hii,

We've got bit of a bubble blowing fans team thing going on around here, lately, so you've totally come to the right space ;)

*blows nice smelling Welcome and enjoy your stay, and may your work people take it easier on you, bubbles in your direction*

Also... paper cranes, dragons, and other awesome things out of paper.
Helps distress out, makes for friendlier looking offices & reclaims own bits of a place, are successes to look at with fondness even after boss juust yells you down (again), or something to glance at while avoiding eye contact with people, too...

Altogether details rearranged can add composure, in small and bigger ways.
 

mynameisvictory

Not Active
Thank you for all of these suggestions -- they're really good and won't cost a lot. I never thought of an oil diffuser, and I'd like to try the paper origami things, too, that would be nice to look at and cheap to make. Glad to hear so many folks like to blow bubbles, it's pretty awesome.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you for all of these suggestions -- they're really good and won't cost a lot. I never thought of an oil diffuser, and I'd like to try the paper origami things, too, that would be nice to look at and cheap to make. Glad to hear so many folks like to blow bubbles, it's pretty awesome.

You can also get a necklace or other piece of jewelry that works as a diffuser. I really like them, because you are exposed to the oil all the time and you don't necessarily affect anyone around you.

Btw...I love blowing bubbles, too!
 
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