mynameisvictory
Not Active
I'm new here.
So. . .at my current position, whenever I have to interact with my direct supervisor, I feel triggered. When she's not there, I don't feel so bad. I am definitely not trying to blame her, but I honestly think about her and feel terrible even when I'm not at work.
She reminds me so much of my mother (a source of much of my trauma). Her bitterness, her whispering about people when they are right in front of her, her never speaking to me unless it is to criticize something I've, her telling me I don't take initiative when in actuality -- every time I ask her if I can do this or do that to help the office (stuff that has to be done anyway) or if I have ideas, she tells me no, no, no. . .but then she comes to me a little later and demands that I do the things I asked her to do originally. She treats me so suspiciously as if I'm the laziest person she's ever met when I'm constantly asking what can I do to help. There's more, but I really don't want to focus on her too much.
Overall, my workplace is not a supportive workplace, but for now, it's the best I can do.
It helps for me now to push my office door up -- it feels like it's shielding some of her negative energy from me.
Anyhow, what do you all do to make your personal office a more comforting place? A nice place in a not-so-nice workplace?
This might sound silly, but when things get really bad for me at my office, I go outside and blow bubbles (I don't mind how immature it looks, it soothes me).
I'm planning on leaving this job when I can find something that suits me better and I hope it will be a better environment. . .I feel like I'm whining and like I'm ungrateful, but I honestly had to start taking my anxiety meds again today (and I really wanted to try to live without them) because I'm having a hard time coping with where I work.
So. . .at my current position, whenever I have to interact with my direct supervisor, I feel triggered. When she's not there, I don't feel so bad. I am definitely not trying to blame her, but I honestly think about her and feel terrible even when I'm not at work.
She reminds me so much of my mother (a source of much of my trauma). Her bitterness, her whispering about people when they are right in front of her, her never speaking to me unless it is to criticize something I've, her telling me I don't take initiative when in actuality -- every time I ask her if I can do this or do that to help the office (stuff that has to be done anyway) or if I have ideas, she tells me no, no, no. . .but then she comes to me a little later and demands that I do the things I asked her to do originally. She treats me so suspiciously as if I'm the laziest person she's ever met when I'm constantly asking what can I do to help. There's more, but I really don't want to focus on her too much.
Overall, my workplace is not a supportive workplace, but for now, it's the best I can do.
It helps for me now to push my office door up -- it feels like it's shielding some of her negative energy from me.
Anyhow, what do you all do to make your personal office a more comforting place? A nice place in a not-so-nice workplace?
This might sound silly, but when things get really bad for me at my office, I go outside and blow bubbles (I don't mind how immature it looks, it soothes me).
I'm planning on leaving this job when I can find something that suits me better and I hope it will be a better environment. . .I feel like I'm whining and like I'm ungrateful, but I honestly had to start taking my anxiety meds again today (and I really wanted to try to live without them) because I'm having a hard time coping with where I work.