finallygettingthere
New Here
hey,im new here
its taken alot for to join, im really good at isolating the side of me with ptsd and helping others but rubbish at calling out when i need it
im hoping to just connect with some people as theres a huge lack of it for me, this whole year has felt like me smiling at those I love whilst living in hyper alert,barely sleeping flashback free and im exhausted mentally.
im 25 and i live alone..now. under 2 years ago id never had a home. my trauma stopped when i was 11 and i went straight into a mental hospital for a year, then went into residential care in wales until i was 16 (im from london so i was 8 hours from my mum and hometown) but got re sectioned and spent from 16 years old to 22 in a secure forensic ward. moving into my first home 18 months ago without any support teams or anything (of course im not ill enough anymore to qualify for free help) has been the most beautiful and confusing thing. but this year has been brutal. 2 friend suicides, the usual unstable erratic family sutff and me trying to navigate life when the institution door shutt on me when i was 11 and swallowed me up as if id comitted the crime not the abusers. i had no schooling, no friends, no socialising... and now im just here. I love my life, I wouldnt change a thing but i have no one i can talk to about going into panic if a car door slams to loud or being scared of my bed some nights...any words of identification and strength would be greatly appreciated as sometimes I feel like I dont have a clue what im doing
its taken alot for to join, im really good at isolating the side of me with ptsd and helping others but rubbish at calling out when i need it
im hoping to just connect with some people as theres a huge lack of it for me, this whole year has felt like me smiling at those I love whilst living in hyper alert,barely sleeping flashback free and im exhausted mentally.
im 25 and i live alone..now. under 2 years ago id never had a home. my trauma stopped when i was 11 and i went straight into a mental hospital for a year, then went into residential care in wales until i was 16 (im from london so i was 8 hours from my mum and hometown) but got re sectioned and spent from 16 years old to 22 in a secure forensic ward. moving into my first home 18 months ago without any support teams or anything (of course im not ill enough anymore to qualify for free help) has been the most beautiful and confusing thing. but this year has been brutal. 2 friend suicides, the usual unstable erratic family sutff and me trying to navigate life when the institution door shutt on me when i was 11 and swallowed me up as if id comitted the crime not the abusers. i had no schooling, no friends, no socialising... and now im just here. I love my life, I wouldnt change a thing but i have no one i can talk to about going into panic if a car door slams to loud or being scared of my bed some nights...any words of identification and strength would be greatly appreciated as sometimes I feel like I dont have a clue what im doing