Dana1010
Policy Enforcement
I just started an experiment in self re-parenting, a form of therapy I admittedly don't know much about--this is just my own experiment. I have chosen two imaginary parents, a mother and a father. They are actually modeled after actual people--one I've met, the other I haven't, just someone I feel a connection to. In idle hours like between work periods, after meditating and especially when I've just woken up, I will attempt to regress in my mind back to a child state and imagine scenarios with my new parents. I take myself through the fantasies and try to really be there, feel the feelings, etc. For instance, I might wonder, "How would it be to go to a restaurant with new loving parents?" and I'll take myself through that scenario. Instead of an angry, argumentative father annoyed by me being a kid and wanting attention, I have my new father who calmly and happily looks at the menu and asks, "What does princess want?" "I want pancakes, daddy," I say. And then he kisses me on the cheek and says, "Tell the waitress what you would like to eat, princess."
It felt slightly ridiculous at first, like what entitles me to this treatment? It was strange and foreign to have these people being nice to me for no reason. I just kept expecting them to rip it out from under me at any moment; a little voice said, "Don't get used to it." But I kept trying to stop fighting it, to let it sink in, to take it for granted. As I dropped the defenses and let myself feel the love, my body started to shake involuntarily--a clear sign I had hit on a trauma point.
My daydreaming skills are well honed from my days when that was my only life as an isolated child/teen, so I'm pretty good with casting and directing pretend lives. I've just been at this for a couple of days, so it's too soon to gauge its efficacy, but I think I am feeling a bit calmer. Does anyone have similar experiences to share? You are welcome to copy my methods, try for yourself, and report back on your results.
It felt slightly ridiculous at first, like what entitles me to this treatment? It was strange and foreign to have these people being nice to me for no reason. I just kept expecting them to rip it out from under me at any moment; a little voice said, "Don't get used to it." But I kept trying to stop fighting it, to let it sink in, to take it for granted. As I dropped the defenses and let myself feel the love, my body started to shake involuntarily--a clear sign I had hit on a trauma point.
My daydreaming skills are well honed from my days when that was my only life as an isolated child/teen, so I'm pretty good with casting and directing pretend lives. I've just been at this for a couple of days, so it's too soon to gauge its efficacy, but I think I am feeling a bit calmer. Does anyone have similar experiences to share? You are welcome to copy my methods, try for yourself, and report back on your results.
Last edited: