Anyone else have trouble with auditions / interview situations?

I tried out for this organization on campus that I've been thinking about joining for over 6 months, and I tried my best considering how hectic the week was, but I didn't get in. The whole process felt very rushed and I was definitely emotionally drained after it. Good context to note is that I strongly dislike anything having to do with trying out/auditioning because it creates, in my opinion, a superficial exclusivity.

Does anyone have trouble dealing with "cuts" or rejection based opportunities? Typically, I try to create some emotional distance between the opportunity and my identity (thinking that it's a good opportunity objectively, it would practically help my goals, it's a logical step considering many factors, etc), but I noticed that if I really care about an opportunity I feel like I'm more likely to get rejected or at least I've had an extremely hard time coping. I start over analyzing the system in place and how the process was done and start finding faults. A good skill if I need to improve something, but not very useful on the other end. I think this is because if I focus on the system, while also recognizing what I could have done better, it keeps me from thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I wasn't accepted / didn't "pass" the test of the opportunity.

Any tips on coping? Also, this has become more of a problem recently when I'm dealing with peers rather than just regular job opportunities or applications that are off-campus (like scholarships etc, especially when dealing with a company, rather than an on-campus opportunity through a student-run organization or through professors).
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I sort of shifted the weight of auditions and interviews by telling myself I was going to see if I was interested. I told myself that over and over so I learned to feel it that way. When I was going to see if I wanted the situation it relieved a ton of stress and really helped me realize that there were situations that I didn't want, even though I thought I did. I know this isn't very helpful, I can't explain how I went from feeling stage fright to feeling powerful but it worked, lol.
 

MaplePancake

New Here
I relate a lot to this. Interviews make me very nervous because of course I could always get rejected!

l don’t think it is so problematic of you to focus on the system rather than yourself when you are not accepted.( I mean, if you are applying for a certain type of job and need more skills to be competitive, by all means improve those skills. Take a class, get extra help. ) Your post suggested to me that you are more concerned with what the rejection says about you as a person and not so much about specific skills that the organization may be looking for. I honestly don’t have the magic words to completely take away that anxiety, but I will leave you with a couple of thoughts that will help help you get rid of the cognitive distortion that if I am not accepted into a certain group I am unworthy on some way. And remember that that very much is a cognitive distortion.

First of all, the people behind the process are not omnipotent. They only know a tiny bit about who you are (unless you are applying to the CIA and then they probably really do know everything). They also have to make a quick discussion about possibly dozens of similarly qualified candidates in a short time frame. A lot of what makes person A get in but not person B is probably really obscure. I mean, someone could be picked because they remind the interviewer of their best friend in some way. The point I am trying to make is that a lot of times rejection is for subtle reasons and the personal bias of the gatekeepers and not on any objective criteria. Hope that helps some
 

Roland

Confident
YES, I hate interviews.

Best I can say, rehearse mentally (or physically if that works for you) what you will say. Look up common questions and think of the best wording. Practice your handshake, posture, and tone of voice. Speak slowly. It's hell, and like you can never tell what they're looking for. Echo the company wording and job posting verbage.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Does anyone enjoy them?!

It's really good to separate out the 'rejection' of you as a whole person from the situation. As it isn't.

These things are two way.
Do you want the job/role? Do you think the organisation/event is a good fit for you? Is it going to give you what you want?
Going in with those questions addresses the power imbalance that you might be feeling.

Also, holding steady with what the feedback is if you aren't successful in securing the position. They may give you pointers to work on, that you may or may not agree with. But if you can see the reason why it's a no for you this time, it's good to work on that.

Also, reframing things: someone else showed them just that little bit more of what they were looking for, rather than you.

However, working on what 'rejection' means for you, and why it triggers a response that is more than the event will help with reducing these feelings moving forward.
 
YES, I hate interviews.

Best I can say, rehearse mentally (or physically if that works for you) what you will say. Look up common questions and think of the best wording. Practice your handshake, posture, and tone of voice. Speak slowly. It's hell, and like you can never tell what they're looking for. Echo the company wording and job posting verbage.
Interviews are less of an issue for me than auditions or try outs for school organizations. I tend to nail interviews and do very well in the professional field, but when I'm being evaluated by my peers (especially student-run organizations), it is more stressful.

Also, holding steady with what the feedback is if you aren't successful in securing the position. They may give you pointers to work on, that you may or may not agree with. But if you can see the reason why it's a no for you this time, it's good to work on that.
Love feedback! I already reached out to them to find out what I could have done better since that wasn't included in the rejection email (although they were taking notes during the tryout, so logically they should be there). Still waiting to hear back. In the meantime, I'm pursuing similar opportunities that will build the skills I think I can improve on for the next tryout.
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
I (for whatever reason) interview really well. Don't know why, I never did and interview until I was over 50, mostly due to the fact the job I had for 30 years I kind of worked my way into as a temp.

To me the important parts were:

- knowing and being confident in my skills
- knowing how my skills were a benefit in the position.
- understanding how I could benefit the company.
- express a willingness to learn.
- getting the person across the desk to see you in the position.

Having the person across the table be able to see you in that position is what you are going for. Make them think about you that way, as the person they are looking for. Confident, with the skills, and willingness to learn what you don't know.
 

Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
Does anyone enjoy them?!
raises hand I actually love auditions and interviews. They're some of my favorite interactions! Public speaking is something that I've always adored. I was a theater kid. I did Rent, ha. And Wicked. Just little kitsch home-house performances but we really gave it our all. I like to think of an interview as my time to present the best version of myself I possibly can.

Go out there dressed to kill and knock 'em dead, you know? Whenever I get nervous, I just lean into it. It's a safe adrenaline rush, right? Crack a joke at myself and just throw it out there. Sometimes you really do just have to fake it 'til ya make it. If people don't like ya? Pshh. You weren't even thinkin' about 'em.
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
Oh... one other piece. Stage fright - comes in three forms.

-Before
-During
-After

I was always before. Once I got in there I was fine.
For before and during - grounding. Start early.
Control your breathing. Deep breaths and count - count 4 in, 8 out. ( good distraction too...you think about counting instead of whatever)
One deep even clearing breath before answering a question that gives you anxiety.

Stage fright after - all the same stuff but it's like doing something that gives you panic attacks. Know its coming. Be ready and start as soon as you feel it coming on.....
 
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