Anyone else having a hard time imagining their safe space?

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
So, in the DBT books I’d read when they the therapists were oscillating between BPD and CPTSD, there was all that stuff about mindfulness and among it, one that I kind of enjoyed. Imagining your perfect self place and ground yourself in it.

I imagined the most resourcing place I could, and unavoidably envisioning that place makes me cry uncontrollably. I get flooded by nostalgia and the desire of something that never was.

Did anyone encounter something alike?
 

Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
I get flooded by nostalgia and the desire of something that never was.
@ruborcoraxxx cannot recall concretely, the selfparts/Ego states that are arising and their emotional reference to the safe place are being addressed as well. When a part arises that is overwhelmed with grief then the part needs an attachment figure to guide her/him to the safe place.. that’s all I can remember from my last sessions. Not sure if it’s helpful?!

Ps: when the safe place hardly ever existed, then the definition of that place needs to be named differently...
 

Rumors

MyPTSD Pro
I chose my safe place on top of a mountain out west. I did that because it accomplished a lot of things for me, quiet solitude and safety if no one was there with me. One thing I did realize when my therapist first "made" me chose a safe place, I had to practice it numerous times before it felt good. In the beginning it caused me great anxiety to try and pick someplace that I could meditate in to as a safe place. The more I practiced, the more it really became something that felt good. I would encourage you to pick something benign and beautiful. Maybe the beach, maybe a mountain top like mine, but something where you can insert birds, trees, a cool breeze, sunshine, blue sky, green grass, etc. All of those things are grounding mechanisms when the world seems too much. As I sit here typing, I have a clear picture of what I look like in my safe place. It only comes with practice.... hang in there.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you. Yeah, at the end it’s more or less also what I’ve done. Somewhere remote, filled with things I like. But it ends up triggering sadness I thing because it triggers my sense of belonging to a nowhere and that this place isn’t something actual, but just virtual. I have guides there too, that are fictional too. At the end it’s quite soothing, but much more on a dissociative daydreaming way than a grounding one. I basically use that space to calm myself down when I’m feeling agitated, but I feel it’s gambling between fear and sadness.
 

enough

MyPTSD Pro
I gave up on a place. As stated, a place and time that were real had both good and bad association, nostalgia for what was once good and the loss of that place, possibly by something traumatic. Inside that place and time there might be a state of mind that would be useable, but it just didn't work as a strong anchor that was reliable enough for me.
Going with the state of mind rather than place and time idea, i searched for a repeatable event that left me with a repeatable state of mind. Then, the options opened up for me. I considered the moment when the lights dim for a concert you have been eagerly anticipating, putting in the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle, the first bite of a great meal, the first sip of a warm beverage in a cold tent in the morning, there were lots of moments that I could use.

For me, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats-Kenneth Graham "The wind in the Willows".

I had my frame. I savor the first instant that a boats hull leaves the bottom behind and you are instantly free, floating and flying effortlessly away into an adventure. That moment exists when you first step aboard a docked boat too, but it's best enjoyed in a small craft like a canoe or row boat leaving shore.
hope this helps.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
hi @enough , your answer is quite useful. I’ll some of these bits of DBT again and diversify grounding techniques. The safe space more or less works only when I’m going to bed.
 
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