SeekingAfrica
Sponsor
The rare times I need to ask for some form of practical(non-emotional- an item, a loan, a favor) help from loved ones or friends, I get like a double reaction...Gratefulness, love, appreciation, of course...but then also, dread and this kind of weakness, like fear. If I have to ask for help, and I am granted that help, I feel all the good things, I'm thankful and appreciative...and then for about half-day my brain gets practically in full-on crisis mode, with feeling hyper and afraid and full of adrenaline or so weak I can't get out of bed. Or both. And there's lots of crying too...
I think I know where it comes from, maybe, related to my trauma, but...But that hasn't made the feeling disappear.
In ideal world I'll never need help from anyone and no one will need mine. But we don't live in ideal world and I don't want to have breakdown any time I need to ask a favor. Btw, my reaction is the same whether it's about a small favor or a big one. I could be asking a friend to borrow makeup, and I can still react that way...Will this fade over time the more I experience life, like exposure therapy, or what can I do about it?
I think I know where it comes from, maybe, related to my trauma, but...But that hasn't made the feeling disappear.
In ideal world I'll never need help from anyone and no one will need mine. But we don't live in ideal world and I don't want to have breakdown any time I need to ask a favor. Btw, my reaction is the same whether it's about a small favor or a big one. I could be asking a friend to borrow makeup, and I can still react that way...Will this fade over time the more I experience life, like exposure therapy, or what can I do about it?