My older sister (now age 67) was an arrogant, mean bully growing up. She was embarrassed of her family and taunted her siblings. Through our adult years, she has not changed but is extremely subtle with her abuse. I cut her off in 2006 when our narsisistic mom passed away, I had had enough. My 37 year old son is in contact with her. We moved many states away, many years ago. My son lives near me. He mentioned today that she and her husband is coming through our area and he and his family will meet up with them. I wish I were "bigger than my feelings" and could join them but it was SO bad and she was SO mean and has not changed that every part of me says "no". I will not even have contact with her children who are all grown just because I feel so strongly about this sister. I really have been feeling fine (except when guilt comes in) and in acceptance with my feelings around this sister but I cannot seem to shake all these guilt feelings, like I am not a good example to my son or that it is unhealthy to harbor resentment. She is so toxic to me. I know that if she showed some sign of wanting a relationship with me, I would respond. We could not see each other for 5 years and then see each other and she shows no sign of interest and starts her subtle bullying that noone notices unless really looking for it. Wondering if anyone out there has any similar experiences and how you handle it. Thanks for any input or thoughts!