At sheppard pratt I was told I have alexathymia as a result of my trauma. I could only find little on the internet.
thanks for replying, i know its not considered a dx, instead a personality trait. what surprises me is other personality orders like borderline personality disorder are give as diagnoses. i wish there was specific treatment for it.Simplifying that it's basically an inability to recognise and describe emotions, it's not a diagnosis really. So it's IME massively common.
I can read other people decently, but for myself I only have awareness of some feelz and only when they hit extremes. T says that there's a million different things playing into this. Like no idea what my body is doing ever, deny feeling anything even if I do etc etc.
Got specific questions or?
i believe it happened to be during my trauma time, they used our emotions against us. crying got us more abuse, a frown or other expressions got us more abuse. i believe in my case my brain in order to protect me and itself, cut my emotions off.I'm curious, did they call it a personality trait? Cos I consider it more a symptom. Like for whatever reason you've had to learn to ignore your feelings so now you're unaware you even have them.
Alexithymia is a common issue, especially with trauma and dissociation. When one spends much of their time dissociated, it makes sense that they wouldn’t be able to recognize/name emotions.At sheppard pratt I was told I have alexathymia as a result of my trauma. I could only find little on the internet.
thats parallel to my experience. I am not unable to recognize my emotions, but it is a big deal to me when they betray me and cause more grief and controlling emotions is a high goal in my brain. But, I sometimes water down joy to control disappointment and that just plain sucks. Being calm in a situation where the uninitiated are choking back overwhelming fear or anger has been a good thing, but maybe not as good as being empathetic to people who are just reacting normally to a bad situation. Being calm and decisive in those times has saved me a few times, and probably some of the people that saw it and followed my lead too. It aint horrible to be a bit hardened over. Numb is another matter.a frown or other expressions got us more abuse
crying got us more abuse,
These statements resonate with me. In my narrative timeline I made up the story that I blocked crying during the abuse because he *wanted* me to cry, so not crying was a way of taking back my power and punishing him, *even if it got us more abuse*. Which led me to believe that I provoked others to abuse me as a way to calm them down, so they could get it out of them—*because I was special enough to be able to take the abuse*—“because it didn’t affect me.”controlling emotions is a high goal in my brain.