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ANZAC Day - Are Your Nerves Increasing Yet?

Discussion in 'General' started by ryair, Mar 21, 2007.

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  1. ryair

    ryair Active Member

    Hi Everyone!!
    As ANZAC Day draws ever closer, I wonder how many vets are starting to get wound up, and how many will 'crash' after the day is through? Is this process something they are even aware of?
    As the partner of Tonka, I have watched this process for some time now. Unlike a close vet friend, Tonka 'crashes' aprox 2 weeks after attending Dawn Service. The friend is completely caught up in hell leading up to it. Both try their hardest to destroy their relationships with those closest to them,and are aware of what they are doing. Why????
    It comes down to the same with both men, Why would we want to live with a monster? For Gods sake... Dont we know what they have done??? Dont we know what they are capable of????
    And the simple truth is this... Yes, we do know what they have done, and we do know what they are capable of. We have held them through the nightmares, ignored their baiting and anger, and loved them enough to find out where the anger and fear is coming from. We have walked behind them to give them pride, beside them so they know they are not alone, and infront of them when they needed the rest.
    The military trained them to kill without remorse. The military never taught them what to do with these 'skills' as a civillian.
    I ask every person who loves and cares for a vet in this coming month, to remember these men are tough and proud. They hate to be seen as weak, they hate asking for help.
    Do not react in anger when their behaviour becomes unbearable, for they have literally given their lives so we can live ours. Do not look at them with pity in your eyes when they break, for without them, we would be broken too.
    Do not focus on the behaviour. Focus on the person as a whole. These men joined the military to do good. For however they have turned out, I beg you not to forget that. That same boy is still inside them...
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  3. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

    I am truley confused. i have never heard os ANZAC day. I am a Vet. Female so i guess mabie thats why But what is this for what do they do?
  4. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

    Perhaps it's because you're American. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. It's a memorial day for military and veterans, April 25th, similar to Remembrance Day and Armistice Day.

  5. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

    sorry i had no idea.
  6. porkyrees

    porkyrees Member

    Ryair I found your comments to be very true some of us hold it in most of the time but unfortunately we get together with our mates some we have not seen for a long time have a few drinks.I think you will find in 99% of the time our exploits are never discussed only the funny things are brought up but unfortunately it can trigger bad memories.Its usually the one bloke who carries on is full of S..t.I think you will find that most ex-service people are very aware of how they present themselves. Porky Rees
  7. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    I have to say that ANZAC day doesn't bother me these days, but I still don't attend it either. Maybe this year I may attend a service and see how I go. Maybe test the theory a little more off my own healing to this.
  8. ryair

    ryair Active Member

    So how has everyone been after ANZAC Day?? Tonka and I had not talked for a few weeks leading up to it (He pushed,I walked.:poke: ), and on queue, as expected he rang that night. Turned out he had bought a new suit for the day to symbolise a new beginning. That gave me the idea that we both needed a new start as the pattern we have been in for the last 6 months has not really been effective. I had been leaving all contact up to Tonka to initiate. turns out that has not really been for the best, but it was worth a try!!!
    I have realised for the first time just how bad his panic attacks are getting. It seems the more time he spends on his own, the worse they have gotten. Although he is no longer suicidal, he is so much more cut off from people.
    I absolutely adore him, for the man he is, and for the effort he makes to change his own life for the better.
    So..... A new beginning!!!
    If at first you dont succeed, try, try again!!!
  9. WarHippy1%

    WarHippy1% Active Member

    I think the American version of ANZAC Day would be called Memorial Day, and it takes place the last Monday of May, the start of summer vacation for the schools. If I may, and I hope I'm not out of line with this, because I mean to honor ALL Veterans by pasting this piece that I wrote about 7 years ago. Every country has a day set aside for honoring the remembrance of our Brothers-at-arms who gave it all so others would not have to. Please adjust the dates, places, and if you're down under, winter for summer, in order to localize it for your country. I wrote this to first convey the progression of PTSD, followed by the slow, hard-fought recovery from the effects of war on young, impressionable youths who fight them.
    With all due Respect, here it is:

    Here's a lttle something i wrote for my brothers, hope you enjoy!!

    Memorial day: the changes thru life

    Remember when Memorial Day marked the start of the summer adventure?
    Then I went to Vietnam

    Remember when Memorial Day meant you put down your c-rations for a moments silence for the guys who wouldn't be going home with us?
    And then I came home

    Remember when Memorial Day was a time to be so busy planning cookouts and road trips and staying drunk, that you didn't have time to think about what this Day really meant?
    Then I lived life as a Namvet

    Remember when Memorial Day was a time to be envious of our brothers who died, because they never had to endure the nightmares and cold sweats that became a normal part of living for us?
    Finally, I found Therapy

    Remember when Memorial Day was a time our tears started washing out the bitterness we carried for so many years?
    I visited the National Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C.

    Remember when Memorial Day was a time to honor our fallen brothers and pray that someday we'd be ok again, too?
    Something melted within me, my heart maybe

    Remember when Memorial Day changed!!! And we no longer pitied ourselves. And we were finally, truly able to honor our deceased comrades, and feel sorrow for their families, who never got a chance to see them make the journey back to peace at heart.
    Today, I’m happy to be alive, and I wouldn’t change any of this for anything, because it has molded me into someone my Mother would have been proud of.

    Peace Brothers, WarHippy (MONGOLS mc)
    1st Cavalry Division (AIRMOBILE)
    VIETNAM ’69-’70-‘71
    The First Team

    It's in all of us, the ability to recover. As Anthony points out numerous times in this forum, you just have to want to bad enough to work at it.
    Thank You, Anthony, for this forum, you are blessed by God for your efforts.
  10. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    WarHippy, thanks for posting this. I found it incredibly moving.

    I especially related to the part about those who died because they wouldn't have to endure what survivors endure.

    Mind you, I've never been in the military. My trauma is from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from family and so-called friends of family. When I see some shows or news stories on tv where the victim is killed, I can't help but think, well, at least they won't have to deal with this. I guess it's pathetic, but it's true.

    God help us all in our healing efforts and continue to help us connect and heal with each other.

    Thanks again, WarHippy.
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