As Christmas approaches, I find myself feeling a sense of impeding doom. Although I'm concerned, almost bordering on frightened, I'm also fascinated by my thoughts on this matter. I can't quite put my finger on why I feel this way. I've started practicing mindfulness techniques, guided meditation, and grounding in the here and now. I'm also working on silencing my inner critic which seems to spotlight my fears. It's as if there's an entity slowing surrounding me and encroaching on my personal space. This has driven me to distraction at times. But it's the primal fear that I feel; it gets stronger, longer, and louder as each day passes towards that one day in late December. I'm slowly coming to the realization that Christmas has a central role in some of my PTSD flashbacks. I'd like to bury my head in the sand; but that would be counterproductive to learning how to deal with these issues. This issue has recently arisen from learning about my PTSD and dealing with other issues involved with it. I think I need to examine this and try to find a solution. If not a solution at least a way to mitigate the reactions it provokes in me.
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