Asexual? Aromantic?

Luigiii

New Here
I’ve been questioning whether I’m aroace for like 2 years. Before i thought I was bi and then I thought I was a lesbian and I still don’t know so I just say I’m queer. I’m only 16 so I thought the whole sexual thing would come later but basically everyone my age already got there. Maybe I’m just a late bloomer. But I’ve never actually had a crush, I always chose someone to like to tell at sleepovers and I never had desires yk and I think I’m just too young but everyone I know already has. Maybe it’s affected by my mental illnesses?? Eating disorder and trauma….I don’t like being touched so in my head it makes sense but I could get over it and what then? And I’m not against the idea of a relationship or sex but it doesn’t seem right for me idk how else to explain it. Is this just another identity crisis or is this relatable for anyone?
 
The main thing to remember is that you're 16. This is still very young, and you're still developing in your brain, body, and hormones. You're developing uniquely and exactly at the rate you're supposed to be.
basically everyone my age already got there.
Yes, but guaranteed that many of them wish they hadn't started so young.
I think I’m just too young but everyone I know already has.
If you think you're too young, then you are, and it makes no difference what everyone else is doing.
it doesn’t seem right for me
And good for you for knowing that it doesn't feel right for you right now. Maybe it'll seem right in a few months or years. Or maybe it won't. But whatever happens is ok.

You have a lot of time to figure this out. There is absolutely no rush. Take your time and do what feels right for you.
 

prynne

Confident
I was so stressed out over labeling my sexuality in high school until I eventually realized that it didn't really matter. What do I really need the label for? Just so other people can know who I'm into? I decided that I like whoever I like and the label doesn't matter. I think the label is especially pointless if you don't want to be in a relationship or have sex with anyone because it should be irrelevant to your friends and acquaintances.

Also, things sometimes change when it comes to sexuality, so I think it's best not to get too attached to a label. Personally, I only liked women until I started to heal my trauma in late high school. I was too afraid of men to be attracted to them. Now I've been in a relationship with a man for two years.

These milestones seem like a huge deal in high school, but now that it's been two years since I graduated, I realize that these things really don't matter at all in the long run. High school is only four years out of 80-something years, after all. Don't be pressured into doing anything that doesn't feel right for you just because it seems like everyone else is doing it. Pretty soon after high school, you find out that a lot of these people we're actually doing the things that they pretended they were doing or that the things that they were doing really aren't that fun or cool
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Echoing what others have said.

I wouldn't worry about what other people are doing at your age either. Because maybe they are going through similar things in their minds but don't have the confidence or ability to tell anyone so they put on a facade. You never know really what other people feel inside, so they may not be as sure or confident about themselves as you think they are.

Just focus on you. You're thinking all these things through which shows good self awareness, even if you feel confused. It's a process of self discovery. And one that we never end?
I thought I was bi at 16 and lived with that label until 19 when I decided I was lesbian. That's just my journey (reduced down to the very bare minimum of labels!).
You're doing ok. Take your time.
 

Friday

Moderator
Maybe it’s affected by my mental illnesses?? Eating disorder and trauma
Sex drive goes out the window -even for people with really strong libidos- with sleep deprivation, starvation, and depression. If ANY of those things are a part of your life? Much less more than one? Don’t expect to be feeling sexual or romantic anything until they’re sorted.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
PTSD and trauma can definitely delay the timeline for being attracted to others and finding a partner. You’re 16 so I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think 16 is even “late bloomer” category. I know plenty of people who didn’t date in high school.
 
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