I've had a disorganized attachment style since childhood and because of my personality type, I struggle in being able to trust and connect and then fearing "messing it up," and ruining a relationship that feels good. Friendships in particular. Sometimes I get anxious and wonder if everything in the relationship is okay. Am I doing anything to upset them, make them uncomfortable, etc? I feel l like some kind of monster that might hurt people if they get close. Reassurance would be helpful. I've considered asking if everything is okay and whether I've done anything to upset the relationship. This is after no response to messages for a few days and then a somewhat stunted reply after that. Is it creepy, needy, or excessive to "check in" on the relationship? Would that push people away? Especially if it's all in my head. Then again, there was a relationship that I asked too many times and it literally freakin imploded. I feel like a depressed mess.