coraxxx
Policy Enforcement
So, I’m caught in a rather unmanageable situation.
I have a room storage in the UK that has to be emptied. This thing is costing a lot, and it runs every month.
I also have a racing bike that is stored in my ex violent partner’s mom.
This woman has a flip flop love hate relationship with me and it’s mega triggering to speak to her. Also since I threatened her son to go to court if he didn’t pay me back for the equipment he broke, she might be difficult to deal with, but at least she’s responsive. This I think I can do. It’s gonna take one hour or so but I’m confident it can be arranged. As she had a husband of the sort she ends up teaming up with me more than with her son… but it’s triggering nonetheless.
The thing is that my family offered to pay for the moving in exchange of a big work of art I made. I’m okay with that. But since they said that they aren’t doing anything. They didn’t send the money or didn’t help out with the moving companies. They aren’t in the country I’m living in.
The moving companies are difficult to reach and mega expensive.
This is a knot with many triggers. Feeling ashamed of having let my stuff there, but damn it was the f*cking covid.
Feeling ashamed of my violent relationship, for which my family judges me and infantilizes me. They’re clearly playing inertia until I let it down. But they even called a week ago, I missed the call but can’t bring myself to call back.
Actually that call sent me to a spiral of shame and paralysis.
What I have to do, in the order, is:
- call a moving company and have a definitive quote
- call my family to pay the quote
- call my ex mom to define a moment they can pick the things
- call the company back and inform them
On the paper nothing is impossible but I’m procrastinating this since September. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t bring myself to do it and don’t know what to do. My pdoc who’s also a therapist told me to make a sort of algorithm plan of what I’d do and say in every case and see what are my options. A bit DBT like.
But even this, I block. I start making a list and all of a sudden I prefer to look after fluffy socks. There isn’t anything wrong with fluffy socks but I see the avoidance screaming hard here.
Every time this problem comes back to my mind I shut down or panic or get resentful my family isn’t helping with this conundrum. And I fear speaking to them and being lectured about bills, because that’s what they do.
I also really do have a problem with the simple concept of money. Bills are triggering.
Anyone has tips to do this? I really have to do it and time not only is running, but has overrun.
I have a room storage in the UK that has to be emptied. This thing is costing a lot, and it runs every month.
I also have a racing bike that is stored in my ex violent partner’s mom.
This woman has a flip flop love hate relationship with me and it’s mega triggering to speak to her. Also since I threatened her son to go to court if he didn’t pay me back for the equipment he broke, she might be difficult to deal with, but at least she’s responsive. This I think I can do. It’s gonna take one hour or so but I’m confident it can be arranged. As she had a husband of the sort she ends up teaming up with me more than with her son… but it’s triggering nonetheless.
The thing is that my family offered to pay for the moving in exchange of a big work of art I made. I’m okay with that. But since they said that they aren’t doing anything. They didn’t send the money or didn’t help out with the moving companies. They aren’t in the country I’m living in.
The moving companies are difficult to reach and mega expensive.
This is a knot with many triggers. Feeling ashamed of having let my stuff there, but damn it was the f*cking covid.
Feeling ashamed of my violent relationship, for which my family judges me and infantilizes me. They’re clearly playing inertia until I let it down. But they even called a week ago, I missed the call but can’t bring myself to call back.
Actually that call sent me to a spiral of shame and paralysis.
What I have to do, in the order, is:
- call a moving company and have a definitive quote
- call my family to pay the quote
- call my ex mom to define a moment they can pick the things
- call the company back and inform them
On the paper nothing is impossible but I’m procrastinating this since September. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t bring myself to do it and don’t know what to do. My pdoc who’s also a therapist told me to make a sort of algorithm plan of what I’d do and say in every case and see what are my options. A bit DBT like.
But even this, I block. I start making a list and all of a sudden I prefer to look after fluffy socks. There isn’t anything wrong with fluffy socks but I see the avoidance screaming hard here.
Every time this problem comes back to my mind I shut down or panic or get resentful my family isn’t helping with this conundrum. And I fear speaking to them and being lectured about bills, because that’s what they do.
I also really do have a problem with the simple concept of money. Bills are triggering.
Anyone has tips to do this? I really have to do it and time not only is running, but has overrun.