I’ve been living with PTSD since 2012-13. Military would not call it that, but summer of ‘15 after the Air Force medically retired me, did a local shrink plant it. Since then it’s been down hill.
Marriage has been the worst. There’s a lot of middle but it’s all the same. Our communication is horrible. We repeat each fight over and over again. They never get corrected. It’s even gotten physical. Now keep in mind my husband never served, and doesn’t completely understand the military life. And me, don’t now much of civilian life.
For context, we are both male. Our fights is like a merry go round that speeds up until it crashes, and rights itself to begin slowly spinning again. But after each crash, the time between gets shorter. I have issues, he doesn’t understand how to deal with it. Won’t attend my therapy for guidance. Just sees it as like a cold or something that magic pills can correct.
We came up with a rule of if either of us say stop, leave me alone, or such during a talk or fight, it means to stop and let them cool down. 99% of the time I’m screaming at the top of my lungs to be left alone and he will still keep coming after me pushing my buttons hard that I’ve blacked out and decked him several times. My ability to control my anger with him is gone. Doesn’t take much for us to get at each other throats and mostly I’m wanting to be left alone to calm down, but holes crying victim after he’s gotten me wound up and won’t leave me be.
I’ve filed for divorce. Married 6 years. Known one another for 10. Past 3 years we’ve tried to live as roomies. Since Jan of 2021 I hired a lawyer to get him out of my house and life. I’ve dreamt of driving off a bridge. Swallowing a gun. Running him over with the car. I do what ever I can to keep those thoughts away. He acts like nothing is wrong. And then comes at me some more and I keep asking for silence. Can’t have that. No matter how I ask or say to stop talking, walk away, anything, he does not listen and continues.
My neighbors have tried to help out, but my hub is a man child thinking he’s right and that I need to listen to him. But I listen and get angry and need to stop or I’ll loose control. Which is unavoidable and predictable. I know deep down I’ve left a lot out, but think I got the jest across. I ready to leave my house and turn utilities off to force him out, but fear of him wrecking my home out of spite
Marriage has been the worst. There’s a lot of middle but it’s all the same. Our communication is horrible. We repeat each fight over and over again. They never get corrected. It’s even gotten physical. Now keep in mind my husband never served, and doesn’t completely understand the military life. And me, don’t now much of civilian life.
For context, we are both male. Our fights is like a merry go round that speeds up until it crashes, and rights itself to begin slowly spinning again. But after each crash, the time between gets shorter. I have issues, he doesn’t understand how to deal with it. Won’t attend my therapy for guidance. Just sees it as like a cold or something that magic pills can correct.
We came up with a rule of if either of us say stop, leave me alone, or such during a talk or fight, it means to stop and let them cool down. 99% of the time I’m screaming at the top of my lungs to be left alone and he will still keep coming after me pushing my buttons hard that I’ve blacked out and decked him several times. My ability to control my anger with him is gone. Doesn’t take much for us to get at each other throats and mostly I’m wanting to be left alone to calm down, but holes crying victim after he’s gotten me wound up and won’t leave me be.
I’ve filed for divorce. Married 6 years. Known one another for 10. Past 3 years we’ve tried to live as roomies. Since Jan of 2021 I hired a lawyer to get him out of my house and life. I’ve dreamt of driving off a bridge. Swallowing a gun. Running him over with the car. I do what ever I can to keep those thoughts away. He acts like nothing is wrong. And then comes at me some more and I keep asking for silence. Can’t have that. No matter how I ask or say to stop talking, walk away, anything, he does not listen and continues.
My neighbors have tried to help out, but my hub is a man child thinking he’s right and that I need to listen to him. But I listen and get angry and need to stop or I’ll loose control. Which is unavoidable and predictable. I know deep down I’ve left a lot out, but think I got the jest across. I ready to leave my house and turn utilities off to force him out, but fear of him wrecking my home out of spite