Sexual Assault Audible Orgasm During Rape

Hey.

I haven't been on here in a long time, but I'm revisiting my trauma through some more exposure therapy. One of the things I remember about my rape is dissociating and being brought back by orgasm. In the morning, the people outside the room clearly indicated I was loudly moaning the previous night. I know a lot of women orgasm during rape and it can't be helped. I want to know if anyone else was involuntarily loud. It feels so much worse when everyone around thinks you had a good time. I just feel a lot of shame about it and articles on orgasming during rape don't mention anything about that.

Any experiences would be appreciated.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
Does it help to remind yourself it's crimes / you were a victim of multiple crimes?

Doesn't change it was sexual. In fact, that makes that type of crime worse. But yeah, people ain't at fault for being hurt.
 
I feel the law is so arbitrary in what is considered what type of crime or a crime at all and what actions deserves what level of punishment, so on that front not really. However, if I think about it in terms of spiritual crimes/violation of human rights that does help me put the blame back on them instead of seeing it more as "mistakes" they made when being sexual due to the culture (don't know why I see it this way as one time was clearly premeditated and the guy was remorseless despite sexual assault education, but I guess crimes and rape are portrayed more violently than what I experienced and their speech was aimed at making me blame myself). Thanks for the perspective!
 

Sideways

Moderator
if I think about it in terms of spiritual crimes/violation of human rights that does help me put the blame back on them
Regardless of culture, it's also a violation of your person, and the autonomy you have over your body. Having had an audible orgasm, in my mind, makes that violation incredibly real - someone violated your person, and forced a significant internal and physical reaction that you didn't want, and didn't freely consent to.

They're not allowed to do that. It's not okay. Your body, your choice.
Always.
 

Wonder Woman

MyPTSD Pro
I can't believe I am posting this, but I am.

The one and only time I have ever had an orgasm was whilst I was being raped. I was 12-years-old at the time. So, I had absolutely no idea what was happening in the moment. Sadly, I realized it when I was about to orgasm with my (at the time) boyfriend, eight years later; I vomited, instead of climaxing.

Was I audible? Honestly, I can't recall.

An orgasm is a physiological response. It in no way means you enjoyed being raped. An orgasm does not negate the violence that was perpetrated against you. To the contrary, it makes the violation even more heinous, in my humble opinion.

As an adult, I've been able to work-out through counseling that the man who raped me was trying to have me orgasm. I suppose it was his sick way to assuage his guilt. He actually had the nerve to pronounce that he had made me a woman, and then expected me to thank him.

My point is rapist are sick, screwed-up a**holes, who frequently try to justify their actions.

You are not to blame. You did nothing wrong. Your body respond to the stimulation, that is all.

For me, the orgasm occurred after much activity and violence. I was pulled back, as well, from disassociation.

I pray you will not carry this shame until middle-age as I have. I know it is hard to wrap your head around the idea that you could have an orgasm during rape. The thought still makes my stomach turn. The shame is all the rapist's, none of it is ours.

I pray you will find healing and peace. You deserve it. Along with all the rest of us who have endured such trauma.
 
J

justin2345

This is normal, many men place alot of their self worth into making women orgasm with their penis. Rapists are men.

It was all about making him feel good, the fact that you felt something good is just a byproduct of his dismissal of your humanity.
 
Rapists are men.
My ex-wife, who repeatedly raped me, would absolutely agree with you. But of course both you and she are completely wrong.

Be careful with generalizations. More often than not they end up being incorrect, and then you look like an asshole for making them.

Like everyone else has said, orgasm is a physiological response separate from psychological responses. Having an orgasm during rape is very common, and it means zero about whether you really wanted it or not. Rapists often know orgasm during rape is common and then tell their victims that they must have wanted it, which is a lie.
 
Last edited:
Top