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Avoidance

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Carpman

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Hi, my therapist has told me avoidance is my problem, but I have told him everything I know, I am really trying hard doing meditation and trying to look into the root of it, problem I’m finding 3 separate incidents in childhood that always come to me, do I focus on each one separately, but I am finding it really difficult as it’s splintered and messy, sorry I’ve only recently been diagnosed as having complex trauma and realise it’s a long process, and very confusing, thankyou.
 
Good read Albatross, thank you. I struggle with my emotions a lot. I don't know how to let them out. It's always the wrong time, or I don't have the time, or they're too strong and I feel like I'll start breaking things. My partner is always there to listen, but when he's the trigger of my emotions, he's the last person I want to be around. Otherwise, I have no one else to talk to.

I do turn to avoidance through substances occasionally. I don't want to start an addiction and try to tough it out through distractions before I go that route, but sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy if I don't get my thoughts and feelings under control. My emotions also create havoc with my body as my digestive systems seems hot-wired to my emotions. So that compounds the issue.

In the article they mentioned therapy, writing, and distraction as coping methods. I do see a counselor, but they're not qualified for cognitive therapy, so our talks tend to be optimistically superficial. I go to groups, but of course we can never talk about specifics and we have to stay calm for the sake of the others. Writing always feels like I'm just stirring the pot of my emotions, it doesn't help vent or release them. I practice distraction a lot with books, work, and physical activities.

The only other thing I do is fast for days, so that my emotions can't effect my digestion as much. But of course hunger doesn't really help with stabilising emotions. :P

Emotions are really confusing to me and I really wish I could feel less more often.
 
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