Other Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Roland

Confident
Does anyone here also have avoidant personality disorder? My psychologist told me that because I tested so high in it, a diagnosis was warranted, but that because of PTSD, and fear of people in general, that I should focus on the PTSD and likely avoidant personality disorder will solve itself as I feel safer in relationships. In addition, I'm 20. I got out of the abusive situation when I was 17, so that's not a lot of time to work through my shit and become comfortable around people. I grew up abused and sheltered, in my teen years I experienced a lot of social rejection from my peers. Given that information, how valid is avoidant personality disorder? Could just have been always around the wrong people. Of course I'm going to distance myself from people that can and will hurt me. If you have avoidant personality disorder, let me know your experience and how you deal with it.
 

SallyO

New Here
Does anyone here also have avoidant personality disorder? My psychologist told me that because I tested so high in it, a diagnosis was warranted, but that because of PTSD, and fear of people in general, that I should focus on the PTSD and likely avoidant personality disorder will solve itself as I feel safer in relationships. In addition, I'm 20. I got out of the abusive situation when I was 17, so that's not a lot of time to work through my shit and become comfortable around people. I grew up abused and sheltered, in my teen years I experienced a lot of social rejection from my peers. Given that information, how valid is avoidant personality disorder? Could just have been always around the wrong people. Of course I'm going to distance myself from people that can and will hurt me. If you have avoidant personality disorder, let me know your experience and how you deal with it.
Similar circumstances as yours. Grew up abused and I was the scapegoat. I was close to agoraphobic in my early 20's. I attracted narcissists and drug addicts because of the abuse and what I was comfortable with. I would say Codependents Anonymous which has online meetings has been incredibly helpful for me. I have made great progress on my avoidance issue which turned out to be because I unconsciously felt unlovable and that I was always wrong, even if I wasn't. I took responsibility for everything.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
i don't know where it falls on the official diagnosis scale, but i'll take avoidance over confrontation, any minute of any day of any given week. my pre-therapy modus operandi was to be long and permanently gone before any other players in the drama were even aware there was a problem.

in my own case, this is a symptom i decided to train rather than cure. while the extreme of not even trying to settle disputes was not healthy or even fair to the people who never knew why i disappeared on them, getting involved in never-ending disputes is pointlessly stressful and counter-productive, as well. i shoot for the balance between the extremes. i currently pick my battles small enough to win and big enough to matter. i don't mess with mister in-between.
 

Roland

Confident
Similar circumstances as yours. Grew up abused and I was the scapegoat. I was close to agoraphobic in my early 20's. I attracted narcissists and drug addicts because of the abuse and what I was comfortable with. I would say Codependents Anonymous which has online meetings has been incredibly helpful for me. I have made great progress on my avoidance issue which turned out to be because I unconsciously felt unlovable and that I was always wrong, even if I wasn't. I took responsibility for everything.
I'll have to check that out. Agoraphobia is easy to slip up on a person, seems like. I've been able to keep myself from being too much, but it's a struggle.

i don't know where it falls on the official diagnosis scale, but i'll take avoidance over confrontation, any minute of any day of any given week. my pre-therapy modus operandi was to be long and permanently gone before any other players in the drama were even aware there was a problem.

in my own case, this is a symptom i decided to train rather than cure. while the extreme of not even trying to settle disputes was not healthy or even fair to the people who never knew why i disappeared on them, getting involved in never-ending disputes is pointlessly stressful and counter-productive, as well. i shoot for the balance between the extremes. i currently pick my battles small enough to win and big enough to matter. i don't mess with mister in-between.
Avoidant personality disorder avoids people and social interaction to the extreme of chronic loneliness, longing for connection and intimacy, but refusing to engage with people.

Avoidance in the PTSD sense is avoiding stimulus that is triggering. Avoiding conflict makes total sense, you don't want people to yell at you, or otherwise react in a harmful way.
 

SallyO

New Here
I'll have to check that out. Agoraphobia is easy to slip up on a person, seems like. I've been able to keep myself from being too much, but it's a struggle.


Avoidant personality disorder avoids people and social interaction to the extreme of chronic loneliness, longing for connection and intimacy, but refusing to engage with people.

Avoidance in the PTSD sense is avoiding stimulus that is triggering. Avoiding conflict makes total sense, you don't want people to yell at you, or otherwise react in a harmful way.
I am confused. Are you saying you want to remain agoraphobic and train it rather than deal with the cause? That is certainly your choice.
 

Roland

Confident
I am confused. Are you saying you want to remain agoraphobic and train it rather than deal with the cause? That is certainly your choice.
Sorry for the confusion. I meant I'll have to check out the codependent group.

I'm not agoraphobic, but I could always see that easy to develop in myself. I avoid people, friendships, and social interaction unless I feel really really safe and welcome.
 

JRRTG

Learning
Does anyone here also have avoidant personality disorder? My psychologist told me that because I tested so high in it, a diagnosis was warranted, but that because of PTSD, and fear of people in general, that I should focus on the PTSD and likely avoidant personality disorder will solve itself as I feel safer in relationships. In addition, I'm 20. I got out of the abusive situation when I was 17, so that's not a lot of time to work through my shit and become comfortable around people. I grew up abused and sheltered, in my teen years I experienced a lot of social rejection from my peers. Given that information, how valid is avoidant personality disorder? Could just have been always around the wrong people. Of course I'm going to distance myself from people that can and will hurt me. If you have avoidant personality disorder, let me know your experience and how you deal with it.
Good morning.

I have a diagnosis of C-PTSD. I see my psychiatrist every 6 months to check in. I often avoid even these appointments because I don’t even want to see that person. He has on many occasions wanted to explore avoidant personality disorder with me. I’ve read up on it, and I have to admit, he could be getting at something.

You mentioned about avoiding interaction unless it is really safe. This resonated with me. I avoid everyone whereby they would talk to me, possibility of any criticism or judgement, even my doctor, I email where possible because I ain’t going in to see them. I never answer phone calls. I don’t see friends, I’m single, I find it really hard. I don’t even get invited to occasions such as weddings anymore because they know I won’t go. They just think I am rude and anti social, but in reality it is because I am terrified of that interaction and everyone seeing me as a bad person.

Interestingly, my diagnosis stems from childhood abuse, mostly emotional, scapegoat, unstable mental health within the family, many more etc. I struggle to understand if that is my C-PTSD at play and avoiding any potential triggers as they mostly come from people, or whether there is the presence of APD. I’ve no idea, but whatever it is, is incredibly painful, lonely and like a bottomless pit of hurt.

The only thing has helped me so far, is the 1 particular therapist. She is an angel. I’ve had many therapists in my life who were useless to me. But what is it about her? She doesn’t treat me like a ‘patient’ exactly, she treats me like normal person, doesn’t seem to follow a script, doesn’t overplay the usual ‘therapist language’ and has just helped me work through so much. Overall, I guess it links to the previous mention of feeling really safe? I feel very safe with her. I have only a few others in my life that may see a fraction of my vulnerability, and those people follow the same characteristics, I can be me and they don’t judge me in any capacity and I’ve found that to be very rare. My medication, I have the agreement with my doctor to contact them via email, I don’t need to go in for reviews, they just give me it! I love reading, I don’t like ‘self-care’ books but I often do some of the worksheets myself. Writing a journal of feelings when I feel them intensely so I can reflect back on them days later when I’ve settled down so I can explore them.

I hope some of that helped!
 

Roland

Confident
Good morning.

I have a diagnosis of C-PTSD. I see my psychiatrist every 6 months to check in. I often avoid even these appointments because I don’t even want to see that person. He has on many occasions wanted to explore avoidant personality disorder with me. I’ve read up on it, and I have to admit, he could be getting at something.

You mentioned about avoiding interaction unless it is really safe. This resonated with me. I avoid everyone whereby they would talk to me, possibility of any criticism or judgement, even my doctor, I email where possible because I ain’t going in to see them. I never answer phone calls. I don’t see friends, I’m single, I find it really hard. I don’t even get invited to occasions such as weddings anymore because they know I won’t go. They just think I am rude and anti social, but in reality it is because I am terrified of that interaction and everyone seeing me as a bad person.

Interestingly, my diagnosis stems from childhood abuse, mostly emotional, scapegoat, unstable mental health within the family, many more etc. I struggle to understand if that is my C-PTSD at play and avoiding any potential triggers as they mostly come from people, or whether there is the presence of APD. I’ve no idea, but whatever it is, is incredibly painful, lonely and like a bottomless pit of hurt.

The only thing has helped me so far, is the 1 particular therapist. She is an angel. I’ve had many therapists in my life who were useless to me. But what is it about her? She doesn’t treat me like a ‘patient’ exactly, she treats me like normal person, doesn’t seem to follow a script, doesn’t overplay the usual ‘therapist language’ and has just helped me work through so much. Overall, I guess it links to the previous mention of feeling really safe? I feel very safe with her. I have only a few others in my life that may see a fraction of my vulnerability, and those people follow the same characteristics, I can be me and they don’t judge me in any capacity and I’ve found that to be very rare. My medication, I have the agreement with my doctor to contact them via email, I don’t need to go in for reviews, they just give me it! I love reading, I don’t like ‘self-care’ books but I often do some of the worksheets myself. Writing a journal of feelings when I feel them intensely so I can reflect back on them days later when I’ve settled down so I can explore them.

I hope some of that helped!
Yes, all of this resonates. I have people I'm close to, I cherish them deeply and depend on them. Anyone I'm not close to, I feel "doesn't fully accept me" I won't invest in the relationship. It's way too hard to make friends, unless they need something from me, and are relatively good people. If they don't need something from me, I feel like why'd they wanna be friends, I don't give them anything. I'm glad you found a good therapist. I haven't had such luck.
 

SallyO

New Here
Yes, all of this resonates. I have people I'm close to, I cherish them deeply and depend on them. Anyone I'm not close to, I feel "doesn't fully accept me" I won't invest in the relationship. It's way too hard to make friends, unless they need something from me, and are relatively good people. If they don't need something from me, I feel like why'd they wanna be friends, I don't give them anything. I'm glad you found a good therapist. I haven't had such luck.
I just want to say I have had therapists that were awesome since I was 24 and had been in other programs like AA, Alanon that have all been very important in helping me "peel the onion" but Codependency Anonymous really got me to where I wanted to go with relationships. I finally got to my core issue which is - I didn't think I was lovable, I am always wrong even when I have no idea why and I am not allowed to have needs. I got these lovely messages from my childhood and I am amazed how common that theme is in Coda. Those feelings were unconscious and I am not sure how I was finally able to get to them but so happy I have. My relationship have changed significantly.
 

Roland

Confident
I just want to say I have had therapists that were awesome since I was 24 and had been in other programs like AA, Alanon that have all been very important in helping me "peel the onion" but Codependency Anonymous really got me to where I wanted to go with relationships. I finally got to my core issue which is - I didn't think I was lovable, I am always wrong even when I have no idea why and I am not allowed to have needs. I got these lovely messages from my childhood and I am amazed how common that theme is in Coda. Those feelings were unconscious and I am not sure how I was finally able to get to them but so happy I have. My relationship have changed significantly.
That's awesome
 
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