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Avoiding People

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BlueWeepingRose

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I'm not trying to do intentionally, I just am feeling pretty low, that I'm up not up to talking to anyone. I've went to people in the past and a lot of people has let me down. I don't want to continue to go to people when I know they can't do anything for me. I'm not expecting that much from anyone either. Sometimes I have bad days and I need to talk to people. There's other times where I've had my friends reveal their true colors to me and a lot of them simply didn't care. A few even blame me for staying with my abusive ex boyfriend or think that I'm weak person.

So many people has given up on me and I continue to battle with PTSD symptoms. I'm always keeping myself busy with hobbies and things to do during the day. It's hard to talk to people now about it or what I'm feeling. Apart of me wants to talk to them, another part of me doesn't because I feel mentally drained. Having to explain everything to them and I don't have it in me. I rather come here and get my feelings out when I'm feeling low than speak to someone about how I feel. I'm not much for opening up to a lot of people. There's so much that changed about me in a year.

It takes a bit before I can trust anyone. Believe this has to do with so many people letting me down and giving up on me when I told them I was suffering from nightmares and flashback's. Now I'm careful on who I open up too, because not many people truly understand. So I noticed how I'm not talking to people all that much anymore. Maybe I simply need a break from people, I don't know. In the end if anyone contacts me, I let them know that they didn't do anything wrong, I just am dealing with a lot and I'll talk to them when I can. There's still friends who do care for me and I'm thankful for that. It hurts though that a few of them has given up on me. It's hard when that happened to me, because that's when I needed them the most. Just tired of people letting me down.
 
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