Doesn’t mean you have to dive on in, instead it’ll prolly be about 3 steps back; working on avoidance, working on coping mechanisms/stress management around things you’re avoiding, and talking-about-talking-about (IE ways and means to bring up difficult subjects, safe words, boundaries, patterns, protocols, etc.).
Yep - sometimes working on why we avoid has to come before what we avoid, if that makes sense? It took me a long time to build enough trust in t to actually start talking about what had happened. I needed a couple years of baby steps before we could get there. But by the time we did I was in a much better place to deal with it because we had laid a good foundation for how I was going to cope.
Maybe analyze what’s stopping you. For me it’s the words. As in I don’t use the words that describe the acts…obviously I still can’t.
Anyway in analyzing what is causing it you might find work arounds. For me it was writing it down and sharing it that way. It’s still hard to write it and sometimes I find I’ve dissociated part way through but I’m making progress. I can even talk about it but not with the words, letting my T know that was my hurdle let him know how to support me.
Like other have said, you may not be ready.
One of the other things I have learned is that when you start touching trauma memories you will have a reaction. When I started dealing with that stuff it was literally months of not good. (That was when I found this site)
For that, you need to be prepared.
And you need to let your T guide you to that point. They have a pretty good idea when you are ready to take that stuff on.