Last year I was in a state of psychosis, I believed I was eternally doomed, I had all these beliefs and concepts which made it so it was impossible to find any solution with my mind. I got heavily addicted to all kinds of drugs. I had a bunch of seizures trying to get off xanax too fast. I went into a drug addiction treatment centre. I didn't believe it was possible for them to help me but I had nowhere else to go. I finished up in the treatment centres 6 months ago, spent the last 6 months floating about from place to place. The thing is, I was in such a bad place mentally that I was kind of forced to stop thinking about things and the only way I know to do that is to meditate. Somehow in this state of hopelessness I managed to let go of so much ego and attachment that I'm not the same person anymore. I feel like I'm actually less of a person. I don't care what people think of me, sometimes that comes back but I must be far more aware now because I instantly catch it every time. The life challenges are actually vastly greater for me now and somehow it isn't making me suffer much because I dropped so many concepts and ideas about "where I'm meant to be". I stopped thinking about past and future and redirected my focus to NOW. When I went into the drug treatment centre I was on the verge of death, they almost didn't let me in because they weren't sure I was gonna survive the first few days. They were checking on me regularly to make sure I was still alive. Physically, mentally and spiritually, everything has shifted. Getting free of drug addiction is nothing compared to being liberated from the mental viruses that had me trapped in the mind. I don't see it as an accomplishment because I didn't have to do anything for it to happen. In fact, it was more a matter of not doing. Letting go of the mental patterns that were haunting me. Its like layers of an onion being stripped away. I been transformed, purified, liberated on a deep level but I'm only really getting started. I don't see this as an accomplishment cuz I didn't actually do anything to make it happen, it just happened.