Blue Survivor
Confident
Does anyone have any advice on how not to 'lose it,' in a context of standing up for yourself?
Allow me to explain: my s/o and I just bought a house, which anyone knows is incredibly exciting but also stressful! When we painted the inside two weeks ago he nit-picked about my painting skills. Because his parents were helping us I said nothing...all week I didn't say a word about his criticisms (even though I feel that I painted just fine - he and I have different techniques but both ended up with the same results - nothing wrong with that).
This week we're arranging and rearranging furniture, still unpacking a few boxes and just generally trying to make it a home vs an obstacle course. Everything that I suggest & every idea that I have is wrong. I want more lighting down the road? Wrong! I want to start hanging up our art? Wrong! I want to take out the recycling before bed instead of in the morning? Wrong! I want to have a cup of coffee after work for 10 minutes before tackling more boxes? Wrong!
So yesterday I lost it. I told him that every thing I do, say, think, suggest, or feel is 'wrong' to him and that at the moment I felt like strangling him because of his nit-picking and negativity. Now he's barely talking to me (which is actually sort of nice since everything he's said the past two weeks has been cutting in some way).
Does anyone have any advice for me? How do I tell him during the nit-picking that he is nit-picking and that it bothers me? One one hand I want to say nothing because I know the house thing is stressful on us both, but I also don't want him thinking he can cut me down like this all the time.
Allow me to explain: my s/o and I just bought a house, which anyone knows is incredibly exciting but also stressful! When we painted the inside two weeks ago he nit-picked about my painting skills. Because his parents were helping us I said nothing...all week I didn't say a word about his criticisms (even though I feel that I painted just fine - he and I have different techniques but both ended up with the same results - nothing wrong with that).
This week we're arranging and rearranging furniture, still unpacking a few boxes and just generally trying to make it a home vs an obstacle course. Everything that I suggest & every idea that I have is wrong. I want more lighting down the road? Wrong! I want to start hanging up our art? Wrong! I want to take out the recycling before bed instead of in the morning? Wrong! I want to have a cup of coffee after work for 10 minutes before tackling more boxes? Wrong!
So yesterday I lost it. I told him that every thing I do, say, think, suggest, or feel is 'wrong' to him and that at the moment I felt like strangling him because of his nit-picking and negativity. Now he's barely talking to me (which is actually sort of nice since everything he's said the past two weeks has been cutting in some way).
Does anyone have any advice for me? How do I tell him during the nit-picking that he is nit-picking and that it bothers me? One one hand I want to say nothing because I know the house thing is stressful on us both, but I also don't want him thinking he can cut me down like this all the time.