Beachy Head

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Curzone

Learning
I spend my weekends at Beachy Head waiting for the anger to spiral out of control, to give myself the courage to jump.

I've lost all hope.
 

OrganicRobot

Learning
Hello there.

I myself almost committed suicide last year. Please continue to reach out and get help. I know what gave me hope was that a lead reached out to HR on my behalf when I confided in him. Sometimes what we really need is to realize someone out there just cares.

I also went to a site called metanoia and it helped (sadly I can't post it because I have too few posts, and there is anti-spam filters on this site; hopefully the admins can allow certain sites to be posted at any level in the future...).

The site helped me to realize how suicide worked. That my coping mechanisms had reached the limit, in regards to the situation I was dealing with. And if you can't carry the burden fully yourself, that is where others do need to come in. Because what you have now is not your normal knapsack of responsibility and worries, but a boulder crushing you. Let others help you carry this boulder or help you chip away at it.

*supermegahuggles*

Please, please don't give up.

P.S. Please respond so we know you are okay.
 
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Curzone

Learning
Hi guys,

I'm okay... Sorry for the post. Had a weird few weeks - going through a "dark night of the soul" moment.

I'm staying away from Beachy Head. Still on the downs - but somewhere safer. Just sleeping, listening to wind, trying to silence my thoughts.

Thanks for the kind words, information and link OrganicRobot. Hopefully this URL should work:

metanoia fullstop org

Also info about Beachy Head crisis contacts:

bhct fullstop org fullstop uk

Once again, sorry guys.
 
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OrganicRobot

Learning
I'm glad you're safe, and please take care. I know after being vulnerable like this you are probably feeling like a 'burden to others'. Please understand you're not a burden. I know it is hard to think otherwise but your plea for help was legitimate. I'm glad you reached out. What you're dealing with is too great for you to carry on your own, and finding others to help you carry that boulder is a very good thing. No one wants you crushed under the weight of the boulder.

Hopefully you can let go of some of the boulder too. Usually we carry with us more then we should be carrying. I know letting go is painful, I'm trying to let go someone of my own stuff too currently. It is hard and painful, but healing.

Please feel free to message me to ramble to your heart's content. I may not always be the swiftest respondent because of my fatigue but know that I'll read/listen, and at least give a few encouraging words if not an in depth reply.
 

OrganicRobot

Learning
Hi @OrganicRobot , could I ask what your second paragraph means above? Thank you. (Can...

The knapsack/boulder terms I got from Dr. Henry Cloud's book Boundaries. Basically the knapsack is always what we should be responsible for, but sometimes instead we are carrying boulders (thoughts, worries, emotions, responsibilities, etc.). If we have too much on our plate life can weigh us down greatly. That is when we need to reach out to others to help lighten our load.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
Nothing to apologize for, @Curzone. So many of us have been near the end of our personal tolerance points.

You're not at all alone. And I'm glad you're feeling a little more centered.
 

dropTheD

MyPTSD Pro
Glad you are safer now @Curzone We are here for you, it will be better, and won't last forever. DOn't let the bad feelings shade your sight or your future.

@OrganicRobot
Yea, the metanoia site has helped me, it's quite useful.
 
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