I myself almost committed suicide last year. Please continue to reach out and get help. I know what gave me hope was that a lead reached out to HR on my behalf when I confided in him. Sometimes what we really need is to realize someone out there just cares.
I also went to a site called metanoia and it helped (sadly I can't post it because I have too few posts, and there is anti-spam filters on this site; hopefully the admins can allow certain sites to be posted at any level in the future...).
The site helped me to realize how suicide worked. That my coping mechanisms had reached the limit, in regards to the situation I was dealing with. And if you can't carry the burden fully yourself, that is where others do need to come in. Because what you have now is not your normal knapsack of responsibility and worries, but a boulder crushing you. Let others help you carry this boulder or help you chip away at it.
I'm glad you're safe, and please take care. I know after being vulnerable like this you are probably feeling like a 'burden to others'. Please understand you're not a burden. I know it is hard to think otherwise but your plea for help was legitimate. I'm glad you reached out. What you're dealing with is too great for you to carry on your own, and finding others to help you carry that boulder is a very good thing. No one wants you crushed under the weight of the boulder.
Hopefully you can let go of some of the boulder too. Usually we carry with us more then we should be carrying. I know letting go is painful, I'm trying to let go someone of my own stuff too currently. It is hard and painful, but healing.
Please feel free to message me to ramble to your heart's content. I may not always be the swiftest respondent because of my fatigue but know that I'll read/listen, and at least give a few encouraging words if not an in depth reply.
The knapsack/boulder terms I got from Dr. Henry Cloud's book Boundaries. Basically the knapsack is always what we should be responsible for, but sometimes instead we are carrying boulders (thoughts, worries, emotions, responsibilities, etc.). If we have too much on our plate life can weigh us down greatly. That is when we need to reach out to others to help lighten our load.