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Beast Vacations: Books You Should Read...that Are Not Military Or Ptsd Related

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Probably something like this floating around already, but rather than hijacking it I'll start a new one.

Here is a list of books I think you folks might enjoy. I am an avid reader (think book shelves over the shitter in the bathroom AND in the man cave) but even if you are not, these recreational reads are some of my favorites when I truly need to escape from everything except my Lay-Z-Boy recliner for a few hours.

Dog/Canine related books:

Never Cry Wolf, Farley Mowat 1963- the somewhat embellished autobiography of the man that did ground breaking research on wolf behavior solo in the middle of nowhere Alaska. Great read. Far better than the 1982 Disney film of the same name, though that is pretty good too. May make you hungry for mice and pure ethanol...

Merle's Door: Lessons from a freethinking dog. Ted Kerasote 2008- An excellent story of a guy and his "found" dog. Great information on canine history and behavior from a professional outdoorsman. Think of it as science and philosophy for guys that like to hunt and fish and be far from city life. Warning: may make you cry a bit due to the paradox that is a beloved companion.

You had me at "Woof", Julie Klam 2010. Life of an ignorant English-major city girl as she gets around to behaving like a grown-up....thanks to her absolutely crazy-assed rescue dogs. Actually a great book by a chick that needs a swift kick in the teeth in my opinion. Warning: may make you hate yuppie scum city-folks even more.

Science Fiction Geek books:

Rant, Chuck Palanuik,2007- From the guy that wrote Fight Club, the excellent book everybody watched but nobody read. Read This one! It is exactly what you expect, kind of like a lava lamp filled with snot. It is revolting, but you can't stop looking. I cannot tell you much more than that without totaly destroying the plot. In short, boogers, rabies, and some crazy assed twisted shit.

Neuromancer, William Gibson, 1982ish- The book that started our modern world without realizing it. Enjoy a rollicking tail of assorted cyberpunk scum as they try to run a theft on the strangest rich folks ever. Discover where the term "cyber" originated and why the Matrix movies are completely unoriginal, ripped off tripe that should have the Wachkowski Brothers kicked out of Hollywood forever. Warning: heavy drug use, assassination, a girl with aviator sunglasses for eyes and retractable scalpels in her fingers. Also Rastafarians and a laughably early 80's view of what we all call the Beast.
(Note, first book in a loosely related trilogy that is worth reading!)

Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson, 1991- More cyberpunk here but with a 90's feel. Hysterical and a bit creepy all at the same time. The USA has been reduced to a series of consumer franchises and the aptly named main character is a dual katana wielding pizza delivery boy for the mob. Trust me on this one, it is good stuff. You get Bladerunner, mass consumerism and some pretty slick cyborg hunter killer dogs. Lots of neon. Funny and fast.

The Gunslinger, Stephen King, multiple versions over the years (try and get the most recent)- I hate Stephen King. I love this book. Think every Sergio Leone movie ever made mashed with Arthurian legend through the thick lenses of a mushmouthed writer from Maine. Great book. Fast Read. NOT full of 11,000 pages of gory detail that has no bearing on the story at hand like the rest of his books.Let me put it this way: The sword Excalibur as been re-forged into a matched set of 45 ACP revolvers that kick more ass that some wimpy razor from some bimbo in a swamp could ever kick. Also mescaline use.

Our Demon Haunted World, Carl Sagan, 1998ish- One of the smartest men in the world examines how voluntary ignorance and superstition are quickly undermining America. Might be a bit dry for some, but has fact based, unbiased analysis of stuff like religion, the anti-science movement, aliens, and neo-hippy new age silliness. Impress your friends by being able to brag you have read the work of one of the smartest men in the world AND perhaps learn new reasons to hate the stupid.

Humor books and fun stuff:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Complete Edition, Douglas Adams, various years. Get and read the complete omnibus all in on tome. "You sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood that really knows where his towel is at." Light hearted, sarcastic, and a bit too true. Enjoy the adventures of a rather clueless British chap as he bums around the Galaxy with a fish in his ear and a towel in his satchel. Laughs abound. Also lots of swut and turlingdromes. (Special Note: Try to buy the British Edition! For some strange reason the American Edition has significant edits and revisions to it that make some of the book annoyingly stupid rather than funny.) Special Special Note to Americans: The Ford Prefect was a car, not a misprint. Google it to understand why this is funny.

Why We Suck, Dr. Dennis Leary, 2009. Read this. If you do not know who Dennis Leary is, you need to hide out in a better connected hole in the ground. Makes you laugh so hard you shit yourself while simultaneously agreeing that Americans are a bunch of fat twats. May not be as funny to non-Americans unless everyone is fat, dumb, and bitchy in your country too. Also learn about growing up as a red-headed Irish kid from a catholic family. Make fun of nuns and politics.
Sorry Sludge Cocker.

But if it isn`t Pratchet it isn`t worth reading. ;)

That realy is a world I would love to live in.
Sorry Sludge Cocker.

But if it isn`t Pratchet it isn`t worth reading. ;)

That realy is a world I would love to live in.

I've read Pratchett, but its hard for me to get into. They tell me that if you like Pratchett, you'll love Gibson and vice versa.

I have to admit I like my worlds ring shaped though. Gotta get your Niven on...
He's got some non-Disk world books that are pretty good. "Nation" and "Good Omens" are very good and not fantasy.
He's got some non-Disk world books that are pretty good. "Nation" and "Good Omens" are very good and not fantasy.

I have read most of his stuff at least once. Him and Niven. I am currently embarking on re-reading all of Anne McCaffery's, something I haven't done since many of them were first published.

Don't think I don't read fantasy, I do! It is just I have read most of the really good stuff and have trouble finding new authors that aren't just telling their versions of Tolkien, Star Wars, or Dune. (The Dune Chronicles piss me off. How dare he die before he finishes!!! I don't care for his son's stuff- reads too much like fan fiction...)
Tom Sharpe:

Porterhouse Blue Series

• Porterhouse Blue
• Grantchester Grind

Wilt Series

• Wilt
• The Wilt Alternative
• Wilt On High
• Wilt in Triplicate
• Wilt in Nowhere
• The Wilt Inheritance

Other novels

• Riotous Assembly
• Indecent Exposure
• Blott on the Landscape
• The Great Pursuit
• The Throwback
• Ancestral Vices
• Vintage Stuff
• The Midden
• The Gropes

They're all mint!
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