Hi. I was diagnosed 2 months ago so don’t have much info on it at all but have suffered with PTSD from childhood trauma. I feel like the question may seem silly to some because i’m young, however it is now a big part of me. I’m a 22 year old female and have been cheated on somehow by every person i’ve ever dated since i first started in middle school. I’ve never once been in any dating situation that didn’t end up with them secretly with someone else. Never ending because they did something mean, always somehow been another girl. Will my brain always torment me with memories of it ? i’ve heard and tried everything. oh just don’t worry about it the right one will come when you’re not looking you’ll be happy. that’s not the point. Every day I have memories thrown at me that i long since decided don’t matter, i’m an adult and still think about the person who slept with my best friend at 15. Saved my virginity till i was an adult out of fear and got cheated on again. I told the current person im with my trust issues and what i’ve dealt with. Said hey just fyi if you cheat not sure how i’d mentally cope after because i’m good and have been but if another one does i have no idea. Later found him messaging transgender women on tinder. He has BPD and was in active psychosis when it happened and that’s mostly why I have stayed. I am a psychology major so i’m trying my best. Also because there isn’t a point in leaving to me at this point if i’m always going to get cheated on or feel like they’re doing it and hiding it no matter what. it’s been 7 months since i found out and i still feel resentment, humiliation, sadness, anger, self image issues, all the notions. i am a lot better than i was then but i hate not being able to just simply let sh** go. i get the feeling of it happening all over again all the time. i have an unhealthy attachment style from having a narcissistic parent and my unique situations.
it seems so easy to say just focus on yourself. when i was by myself even a tarot reader told me to stop thinking about these things- for the same thing to happen again after. I love him but i have no trust in men. Anyone else been with someone with BPD and get triggered by their various emotional states? Those who’ve struggle with infedelity and ptsd, how do you manage? what thinking habits have helped you during a meltdown? i’m tired of being randomly hit with hopelessness, rage and everything else. My last time being cheated on i was like ok obviously they’re just not right for me like everyone else and dropped it. Now it’s so much more. i don’t even think they deserve it at this point. it’s so consuming. i have enough other intrusive thoughts to deal with.i don’t want this to be apart of it. thank you so much for reading
it seems so easy to say just focus on yourself. when i was by myself even a tarot reader told me to stop thinking about these things- for the same thing to happen again after. I love him but i have no trust in men. Anyone else been with someone with BPD and get triggered by their various emotional states? Those who’ve struggle with infedelity and ptsd, how do you manage? what thinking habits have helped you during a meltdown? i’m tired of being randomly hit with hopelessness, rage and everything else. My last time being cheated on i was like ok obviously they’re just not right for me like everyone else and dropped it. Now it’s so much more. i don’t even think they deserve it at this point. it’s so consuming. i have enough other intrusive thoughts to deal with.i don’t want this to be apart of it. thank you so much for reading