Sufferer Beginning again (sexual abuse, domestic abuse and severe illness)

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Wrieghn

New Here
I have suspected complex ptsd after multiple sexual assaults at 17 and 19, and aggressive sexual harassment at various jobs and then i met my ex and it got so much worse. He was an alcoholic and over time he became more and more emotionally, verbally, physically, financially, medically and sexually abusive. He would also starve me and worked very hard to isolate me from my friends and family. He also cheated on me with a prostitute and felt the best way to fix it was to hire her again the next night and force me to sleep with her. He would regularly flirt with other girls in front of me in a REALLY blatant way.
Then i got sick, really really sick. I was in hospital constantly, had multiple surgeries all while dealing with an abusive home life. He would steal my medications, especially my pain meds, made me do house work while sick and when recovering from surgery (because all the chores and housework were my job and responsibility even when he wasn't working), and controlled when and how i accessed medical care. At one point he made me wait a week with pancreatitis before i could see a dr. Another time I woke up with the worst headache of my life and vomiting before loosing the ability to walk and talk. He made me wait all day to go to the hospital, by the time i was seen i was so sick the drs thought i had meningitis or was septic and i was nearly admitted to intensive care.
He also tried to steal my car by throwing me to the ground and forcefully trying to take my keys after i wouldn't let him drive home drunk. After i got sick he would constantly talk about me dying and would tell me I won't live much longer and made me take out life insurance naming him the primary beneficiary. Through it all i was working disability support, volunteering as a committee member for a pain support organisation and studying to be a nurse all of which i had to give up.
Fortunately i found the strength to leave him and after three restraining orders, some time and a lot of rebuilding I am finally starting to recover and get my life back. It can still be hard, i still have nightmares most nights, am constantly on edge and anxious and still get flashbacks among other things but I am engaged to an incredible man who was a friend to me through everything and am at university studying to be a biomedical engineer. I also do work to help others living with chronic pain and have a paid job as a tutor. Sorry for the massive ramble, one i started it just felt good to vent.
 

bellbird

Sponsor
Really glad you've found us, @Wrieghn . And especially glad you got out of that abusive and controlling situation.

I see a lot of similarities in my past situation with yours that you describe.
This place has been a massive help to me throughout the ups and downs of recovery, so I hope we can be the same to you.
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
So glad to have you here with @Wrieghn but, not glad the reasons that brought you.
I have a somewhat similar background story. We are strong women, for surviving that kind of stuff.
You sound like an amazing person. I hope this community of peers can support you on your journey to wellness.
 
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