I have spoken here before about how other than my abuse by a family friend that my childhood was pretty normal................turns out not and I suspect I always knew it but disassociated. In sessions with my new T this is becoming more and more apparent. Let me say first, I deeply loved both my parents and they loved me but unfortunately life experiences made for a tough childhood (sort of just realizing). At the time it felt normal but seems far from it and if my children had grown up the way I did I would have been horrified.
I grew up in basically a middle class family but probably much less stable then I thought. My T said she will have me start working on a timeline soon which in itself will be difficult because it will paint a picture that will be much worse than I remember when I think about it. Below are some highlights;
There is so much more and the issue I am having now is that I blame myself for all of it, I could expand all the items above into a book. Bad choices on my part and lacking the intestinal fortitude to make the right decisions in spit of circumstances. I read stories all the time about people who's life was so much more horrifying but they somehow make the right choices? With all that happened I remained very close my parents. I lived with my Dad in my early 20's for years until I got married and we were very close. I helped support him, bought him a new car and loved living with him.
My Dad passed 35 years ago. My Mom who passed about 15 years ago lived with my 2nd wife and I for the last 8 years she was alive and it was wonderful. Our kids grew very close to her and that was wonderful. We took my mother and the kids on a two week trip to London and Paris the year before she passed from cancer but the memories for the kids are lifelong and wonderful
I tried to give my kids the best upbringing possible and as many opportunities to achieve as possible. Probably the one thing in my life that I am proud of is that my kids have grown up normally and fulfilled their promise with one an economist with a masters and the other a PHD. Both went to college and graduated without a penny of debt as I was able to pay all their costs and give them a chance at life.
I grew up in basically a middle class family but probably much less stable then I thought. My T said she will have me start working on a timeline soon which in itself will be difficult because it will paint a picture that will be much worse than I remember when I think about it. Below are some highlights;
- Birth to 10, pretty stable grew up in NYC lived in the same house all pretty normal
- 10-12 - I was sexually assaulted repeatedly a professional pedophile (never told another soul until I was 55)
- About 12 - My mother tried to commit suicide
- 13 - Parents got divorced
- 13 - I started using drugs
- 13 - Moved to TX with my Dad the summer before starting HS
- 15 - moved back to NY with my Dad and went to 10th & 11th grade in NY
- 15-17 - Very heavily into drugs with basically no oversight
- We lived with my Aunt in NY
- 17 - Moved to Puerto Rico with my Dad went to 12th grade there
- 17-19 lived in Puerto Rico for 2 years and lived in 8 different apartments
- 18 - My Dad moved back to NY for work 6 months before I ended HS and I lived with my Brother in PR for another year
- Never went to college and realized that no one in my family ever said why aren't you applying to college
There is so much more and the issue I am having now is that I blame myself for all of it, I could expand all the items above into a book. Bad choices on my part and lacking the intestinal fortitude to make the right decisions in spit of circumstances. I read stories all the time about people who's life was so much more horrifying but they somehow make the right choices? With all that happened I remained very close my parents. I lived with my Dad in my early 20's for years until I got married and we were very close. I helped support him, bought him a new car and loved living with him.
My Dad passed 35 years ago. My Mom who passed about 15 years ago lived with my 2nd wife and I for the last 8 years she was alive and it was wonderful. Our kids grew very close to her and that was wonderful. We took my mother and the kids on a two week trip to London and Paris the year before she passed from cancer but the memories for the kids are lifelong and wonderful
I tried to give my kids the best upbringing possible and as many opportunities to achieve as possible. Probably the one thing in my life that I am proud of is that my kids have grown up normally and fulfilled their promise with one an economist with a masters and the other a PHD. Both went to college and graduated without a penny of debt as I was able to pay all their costs and give them a chance at life.