Being born with SPD or SID caused me to be emotionally bullied from age 4 on. That condition can't be fixed, but maybe the Cptsd that is a result can.

J

Jeffree-Sue

This site was provided in Pete Walker's book: Complex PTSD. I was born in 1951 with SPD. That disorder wasn't even recognized until a few years ago. As a result my mother, on the advice of pediatricians who said I would die before age 30 and a child psychiatrist whose only advice when all else failed, was to shame me into eating normally. What she did was out of love and desperation. I have lived in a persistent emotional flashback my entire 70 years. Toxic shame is by far my strongest emotion and my inner critic has become who I am. I know I can't " fix " the SPD but maybe I can diminish my shame and neutralize my inner critic by some small degree but I have no idea how to find a therapist since I live in a small rural area in Va, 60 miles from the closest metropolitan area that might offer more options. Can anyone offer advice or suggestions?
 

anthony

Founder
Welcome, and you're on the right mind path... CPTSD can be fixed. It takes hard work, but it can be significantly lessened. CPTSD tends to differ from PTSD in that its more core, and anything at our core being is much harder to remove, when viewed that way, as that would mean losing a part of who we are uniquely. My advice is that people look at who they want to be. Everyone can change. Our behaviour is 100% modifiable. From how we respond, react to a feeling, so forth, we can shape and change everything about those things. It just takes hard work with time.
 

Justmehere

Moderator
What does SPD stand for?

Since the pandemic started, a lot of telehealth mental health care options have opened up for people in rural areas in the US. Checking into telehealth mental health care options in major cities in your state might be an effective way to connect with a trauma specialist and get some good support around recovery. May also be support groups around chronic illness, mental health, or disability via telehealth.

It's never too late to get support. Glad you are reaching out!
 

joeylittle

Administrator
I have no idea how to find a therapist since I live in a small rural area in Va, 60 miles from the closest metropolitan area that might offer more options. Can anyone offer advice or suggestions?
You could start with your primary care physician, asking them if they have any recommendations or if they could give you a referral. If you feel like you don't have a good relationship with your PCP, or you don't have one - I've started recommending searching using a site called Good Therapy. Unlike listings that you can find in Psychology Today - to be listed on Good Therapy, the therapist has to make the effort and verify their credentials.

But really - finding the right therapist takes a little experimentation. It's not unusual to try a few before you find the one that really works for you - and that includes things like how much they cost, how accessible they are, etc. as well as whether their communication style and therapy modalities are a good fit with you.

Don't be daunted by the process of finding one. You've got a very good sense of where you're at and what you want to work on - that is a great sign that a therapist could be quite helpful.
 
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