This site was provided in Pete Walker's book: Complex PTSD. I was born in 1951 with SPD. That disorder wasn't even recognized until a few years ago. As a result my mother, on the advice of pediatricians who said I would die before age 30 and a child psychiatrist whose only advice when all else failed, was to shame me into eating normally. What she did was out of love and desperation. I have lived in a persistent emotional flashback my entire 70 years. Toxic shame is by far my strongest emotion and my inner critic has become who I am. I know I can't " fix " the SPD but maybe I can diminish my shame and neutralize my inner critic by some small degree but I have no idea how to find a therapist since I live in a small rural area in Va, 60 miles from the closest metropolitan area that might offer more options. Can anyone offer advice or suggestions?