being triggered

outfromunder

New Here
I was triggered by a response to a question that I asked of my sister. She lashed out at me verbally. Later, I called my mother and explained that I needed quiet space and that they couldn't visit until I was ready. Then, I called my sister to tell her the same information. The difficulty was when I was on the phone call with my mother. She didn't seem to understand the issues of being triggered. instead, she replied with how I struggled with "communication issues."

My mother has been aware of my traumatic experiences, yet I am encouraged that 'it's in the past' or to 'let it go.' I am at the initial stage of learning to set boundaries; so, any help is appreciated.
 
I am encouraged that 'it's in the past' or to 'let it go.' I
Those things are what non-traumatized people tell us. They are the hallmark of people who don't understand and don't want to understand due to a lazy intellect and/or a lack of basic empathy.

Quite honestly, I'm glad when a person tells me to let it go because it tells me they're not worth knowing and that I won't miss anything about them when I stop talking to them.
 

Sideways

Sponsor
The difficulty was when I was on the phone call with my mother. She didn't seem to understand the issues of being triggered.
Quite likely doesn't know what "triggered" means in the specific context of ptsd.

But also, whenever we're exploring new boundaries, even when they're perfectly healthy and reasonable - if the people around us aren't used to us behaving like that? It will take them some getting used to.

If your mum is saying things that aren't helpful when you're distressed, have a think about what would be helpful. At a good time (gotta pick your moment with these things), suggest to her "Instead of saying x when I'm upset, it would be more helpful for me if you said y instead".
 

Friday

Moderator
I am at the initial stage of learning to set boundaries; so, any help is appreciated.
To me? It’s no different than having diarrhea. I don’t need to tell people how foamy, burny, crampy, stinky it is to cancel plans. Nor do they have some sort of approval process I have to complete /as they have no say in whether my shit is bad enough to warrant cancelling.

Nope! :cool: Instead it’s just happy apologies “Hey love! I’m so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to do XYZ, this afternoon/week/month.”

My body. My life. My decision as to what I’m up to, or not.
 
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