Being wrongfully accused.

koalaburger

Learning
I fear people because I seem to get accused of things I did not do. Today I got an abusive note on my car outside the units for not parking correctly and putting other drivers off. The reason I did it was because when I parked the person in front forced me to park further back. I got accused of marking cards at poker years ago with no evidence at all. This happens to me a lot. I am wondering if this happens to most people and that because I am so afraid of it I notice it and catastrophise it more. I know of people being wrongfully arrested and dragged through the courts and figure I have never had that happen.
 
I totally lose my shit when I'm accused of doing something I didn't do, or of being something I'm not.

That said, @koalaburger, and I don't mean this to be disrespectful at all, how often does it actually happen to you? Those of us with PTSD are really good at taking a couple of negative incidents and turning them into "this happens all the time to me."

That being said, sometimes it does seem to happen a lot to some people!
 

Sideways

Sponsor
I seem to get accused of things I did not do
This ^^^ sounds like a core belief.
The reason I did it was because
But this suggests you did, in fact, do the wrong thing in the situation, albeit for reasons that make sense to you.

To me, that's not the same as being accused of something you didn't do (because you acknowledge you did leave your car in the wrong spot), but rather, people not understanding why you did it...

When we have core beliefs, our brains tend to interpret things in a way that reinforces those beliefs. But you don't seem to have been wrongly accused of something here.
 

Friday

Moderator
I am wondering if this happens to most people and that because I am so afraid of it I notice it and catastrophise it more.
I would say ^^^this^^^ is probably dead in the black.

Because if I parked badly and someone left a note? My response is usually
💞 “Sweet! Thankyou random person for not having my car towed!” 💞
As opposed to getting so afraid of being called out that I not only cannot feel the relief of my car still being there, and gratitude at the person who gave me a free pass, but so far distance myself from the situation as to deny any wrong doing.

And I say that not as a “what if” but I have, a few times, just stood next to my car and waved my arms and shouted THANK YOU!!! IT WAS AN EMERGENCY!!! No sarcasm, big grin on my face, really trying to let the person know I appreciate the solid they did me in not towing my car.

A few other times, where things like double parking are the norm, and this is clearly some out-of-towner who doesn’t understand double parking etiquette? I just shrug, crumple it, and go about my day.

In both cases, I’m in the wrong... one solidly = gratitude.... one eh/greyish = DGAF unless you’re a cop (but a cop wouldn’t ticket me as long as I was following the etiquette/spirit of the law, and not being an asshole to them or others). No catastrophizing, no distancing.
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
I fear people because I seem to get accused of things I did not do. Today I got an abusive note on my car outside the units for not parking correctly and putting other drivers off. The reason I did it was because when I parked the person in front forced me to park further back. I got accused of marking cards at poker years ago with no evidence at all. This happens to me a lot. I am wondering if this happens to most people and that because I am so afraid of it I notice it and catastrophise it more. I know of people being wrongfully arrested and dragged through the courts and figure I have never had that happen.
It sucks to be wrongfully accused. It's next to being actually wronged. Sometimes I think it feels worse.

I think we all get accused of shit we haven't done or thought or felt or been.

I've been in your shoes and felt like, "what the hell?".

But I think it's just life. It's how some people are. We just learn to establish healthy boundaries to keep the good guys in (hopefully), and the bad guys out.

Hang in there.

You are not alone.

🤠
 

Sideways

Sponsor
Because if I parked badly and someone left a note? My response is usually
💞 “Sweet! Thankyou random person for not having my car towed!” 💞
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who reacted this way! Because in my mind, if I park my car in the wrong way, or the wrong spot? It's my lucky day if I don't come back and find either my car has been towed or a parking fine waiting for me under the wiper.

If I came back and found that slip of paper was a note, rather than a fine? The Universe has clearly decided to shine on me today, and I should maybe go buy a lotto ticket!!! Getting pissed at other people for not putting up with me leaving my car any ole place wouldn't even occur to me!!
 

WonderWriter

Confident
I feel you! My father and aunt have accused me of being a liar and a thief my entire life, but I never stole anything from anyone. Since my aunt broke into my grandparent’s safe and stole thousands and my dad took everything my mom and I ever had, they’ve been projecting guilt onto me. My husband is good at blaming me and my daughter for things we don’t do also. I feel like an abuser magnet 😫
 
I can't stand it. But I don't always experience it from strangers compared to from a relationship. I am very devastated now because of the argument last week with my bf ( when he just set me as his target and wrongfully accused me of things I didn't do and my traumatized reaction is compromising and apologizing) and I just saw this title and clicked in..... It feels so bad every time I feel like I'm put on a court and I can't prove that I'm innocent no matter how hard I tried :(
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
I was the Scapegoat in my family and was always accused of things I didn't do. So thru the years I simply grew a 'thicker skin' about such things. My reply is usually, ' you calling me a CHAIR doesn't make me one so think what you want'. And then go about my business. Just shows how fragile we can be sometimes. Just part of what we go thru every day. We get over it and move on.
 
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