My husband my heart died 5months ago. And I’m having bereavement complications. I don’t want to be in this world without him. I see him everywhere as I have been trying to go through our things and get things sorted for his kids. I have lost fifty pounds and my stomach hurts. I have trouble leaving the home we had just purchased in 2021 to do anything. I was alone for a long time after everyone left. Now I have a brother here and things done seem to be getting better for me. This past month and half has been very difficult to the point I don’t want to be here. I haven’t been myself and don’t know how to get back to the person I was. Nothing is the same and nothing seems to be getting better. At times I think okay I got this and then I’m triggered agin bc I have to go through his clothes and things. Our home isby a home anymore it’s just a place. Idk even why I’m writing this. There is so much more but I am numb still … keep thinking he will walk through the door again and tell me everything will be okay .. but it won’t. Nothing will ever be the same. And I don’t want to do this anymore without him. I pray to God I talk to my husband and nothing helps. I get up when our dogs get me up that’s the only thing that gets me out of the nest I made on the floor in the living room. I haven’t slept in our bed since he passed. I’m babbling here.