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Best friend

Discussion in 'Death' started by picklerick, Dec 16, 2017.

  1. picklerick

    picklerick Guest

    Several months ago I lost my best friend. We were out hunting, and he had too much to drink. Sometimes he would joke around and put a loaded gun in his mouth (believe it or not), and I would always scold him for it. He did it this time and I didn't say anything about it this time, and the shotgun went off. I was a few feet away from him and I can't get these images out of my head. Having to drive 2 hours back towards town to get cell service with my other friend was also a traumatic experience, and waiting for another 6 hours in the back of the cop car while they tried to find the campsite was unreal. I miss him very much, he was the best friend I ever had. We would have died for eachother, and now hes actually dead and I don't know what to feel anymore. I've had numerous mental breakdowns and flashbacks since and I had to go to leave work and go to the hospital yesterday. I just wanted to vent and hopefully hear some more experiences of people who have gone through similar situations and how they've dealt with it.
    littleoc, gamereign555, Rain and 5 others like this.
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  3. Lost Marbles

    Lost Marbles Active Member

    If I may offer some advise, don't make the same mistake I did, I watched a friend take his own life with a .44 mag. revolver. I was less than 6' away and was unable to stop him. I spent 30 years trying to forget, it just recently jumped up and bit me in the ass really f*cking hard.

    Yeah... I understand the not being able to get the image out of your head. My condolences.
    littleoc, Rain, ladee and 2 others like this.
  4. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    I'm so sorry - that is horrible. I'm glad you have found us and are getting help. Have you tried EMDR? It might be worth looking into. It can take the memory and the pictures and dial it down a bit. You won't forget but it won't hurt as badly
    Muted, littleoc, gamereign555 and 4 others like this.
  5. picklerick

    picklerick Guest

    When I was at the hospital yesterday they suggested EMDR and gave me a list of people to contact for it
    Muted, littleoc, Rain and 2 others like this.
  6. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, please get help. Just make sure that you recearch the list of names that the hospital gave you and choose a reliable person/therapist/specialist to do the EMDR.
    Muted, littleoc, Rain and 2 others like this.
  7. Rain

    Rain To have hope is a choice Banned Premium Member Generous $250+

    I am so sorry for your loss of your best friend in this way. I cannot imagine the kind of pain you are in. I hope that you do the EMDR because it is true, it helps so much and you will no longer be tortured and tormented by the memories. It is well worth doing in my own personal experience.1
    littleoc, Freida and gamereign555 like this.
  8. Perdido

    Perdido Active Member

    Reading your words, I almost thought it was a post I had written years ago. Unfortunately, a friend of mine did the same thing, joking around, at my house, when I was 17. Twenty eight years later, I'm still fighting to get some homeostasis in my life, to be free from the trauma. Wishing you well in your own journey, and suggesting you do get the help you need sooner rather than later, instead of prolonging the pain, like I have done. I certainly understand the heartbreaking and uncertain time you're going through, the images you're brain is trying to assimilate, the pain you struggle with. Hoping you find your peace in the time ahead.
    littleoc and Freida like this.
  9. Vee

    Vee Active Member

    I also lost a best friend, and I found his body. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need a shoulder.
    littleoc likes this.
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