Several months ago I lost my best friend. We were out hunting, and he had too much to drink. Sometimes he would joke around and put a loaded gun in his mouth (believe it or not), and I would always scold him for it. He did it this time and I didn't say anything about it this time, and the shotgun went off. I was a few feet away from him and I can't get these images out of my head. Having to drive 2 hours back towards town to get cell service with my other friend was also a traumatic experience, and waiting for another 6 hours in the back of the cop car while they tried to find the campsite was unreal. I miss him very much, he was the best friend I ever had. We would have died for eachother, and now hes actually dead and I don't know what to feel anymore. I've had numerous mental breakdowns and flashbacks since and I had to go to leave work and go to the hospital yesterday. I just wanted to vent and hopefully hear some more experiences of people who have gone through similar situations and how they've dealt with it.