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Death BFF's nephew stillborn

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oh pulllese -- she has you in her life. The last thing in the world she is is friendless. :hug:

BFF has a trauma past and, I think, ptsd. She had a lot of poor coping skills at one time, and so she doesn't have a lot of friends. Now is when she needs her friends the most, and I don't want her to feel like, because no one can physically be there, that she is doing this alone. I know her mom cried when BFF said I was willing to go up there, despite the damned stay at home order. I know it's the thought that counts, but sometimes you just need your people to be there IRL too.
 
ut sometimes you just need your people to be there IRL too.
Totally get this...my bestie lives several states away. Sometimes the best you can do is thru text, phone, Skype etc. It's a sucky option but it helps her remember she's not completely alone
 
She's not talking to me now. So I just reminded her that it's okay to not be okay right now, that she has my support, and that I'll keep checking in with her. She'll talk when she's ready.
 
She's not talking to me now. So I just reminded her that it's okay to not be okay right now, that she has my support, and that I'll keep checking in with her. She'll talk when she's ready.
She's very lucky to have you.

One thought..... My mom had to be lifeflighted because the hospital in her town wasn't equipped to deal with her heart issues. I had to drive over 2 hours to get to the hospital after the helo left and didn't know if she would be alive when I got there. It was a terrifying couple of days but she pulled thru.

The one person I couldn't talk to during those days? Bestie. I was barely holding it together between my family and all the doctors and decisions I had to make. I knew if I heard her voice I would totally lose it. Once mom was stabilized I called her and yep. Just as expected....lost my shit

But that whole time I knew she was there and all I had to do was pick up the phone. So even if BFF isn't able to talk right now she knows you are with her. Cause that's how it works with besties. :hug:
 
I knew if I heard her voice I would totally lose it

Yeah, she talked a bit last night and then just couldn't. She did admit that she lost her shit driving home from work.

She only started this job on the 1st, worked a few days, and was exhausted. Then the baby died. So I'm betting that between having a new job, the pace of work, trying to study for the national exam, exhaustion, family, grief, pandemic...... there's just a lot on her plate.

And then that support from a friend just tips you over the edge, your stress cup overflows. I get it, and I'll be there when she's ready.
 
I did hear from her for a minute last night. And this morning she let me know that our national exam was postponed again (FFS!), so we had a good bitch session about that... a nice safe topic. I'll message her again tonight, and see how she's doing. I know the baby was named, and plans are in the works for a small funeral with just the immediate family.
 
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