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Today is my birthday. I hate my birthday. I always cry and feel like shit. It feels like my heart breaks a little every birthday. Its a reminder that you’re alive and I don’t want to be. I have to act happy but I just can’t. I want to skip this day and just sleep till its over. My family decided to do something fun with me; they “gave” me breakfast (just to take pictures with and afterwards they took it away and ate it themselves. I was allowed to hold a baby (family) which actually made my day and gave me a genuine smile through my tears. In a bit I’m going to have to go to church and hopefully I’m allowed to have some icecream. It’s all fun and I shouldn’t be complaining but it all feels so wrong.
Thank you 💗
Tbh I’m only going to church because my family forces me to and i have too much going on to fight back on something I don’t want to talk or think about. Religion is something I want to think about when the time is right and it’s not now. I’ve been sleeping and using music as a distraction the rest of the day so it was fine overall.
Your post sounds as though you have no autonomy over what you do.
Do you mind me asking how old you are?

I'm worried about how you are. You said they took your food away , do you have access to food and can you eat?
I just turned 16. I’m fine no worries, probably just me being dramatic
I usually ‘celebrate’ my birthday a few months before/after my actual birthday. Because? Then I can. As I wish/desire. The actual day? Can f*ck off.
This is honestly such a good idea. I have this joke with my friends that my birthday is a lot earlier because they always forgot when my actual birthday was. I think I’ll do this for my next birthday thank you :)
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