Sufferer Both A Sufferer And A Supporter Of My Mom And A Guy I’ve Been Seeing

Lotsoflove

New Here
I am both a sufferer and A supporter of my mom and a guy I’ve been seeing.

my life has been a series of devastating events as early as 4 yrs old right onto now as an adult. I’ve felt my life was never destined to be easy. Maybe karma from family members(lots of skeletons) past life reincarnation or perhaps just shit luck of the Irish. For whatever reason I feel cursed or like a dark cloud has followed me my whole life. But also surrounded by guardian angels. And yet I’ve done everything in my power to beat the odds, beat the statistics as being a failure and raised a beautiful young lady on my own.

Despite what I’ve endured it has made me stronger and very tough. I may have hardened my child by being strict but loving and what I felt protected her from men in and out of my life.

She was finally old enough where I thought I can now have a life of my own and start dating. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been easy. As I suffer from many autoimmune diseases including kidney disease. And wouldn’t you know, the man I choose is a sufferer as well. A vet. With severe ptsd haven been in combat. Making him unavailable emotionally and physically most of the time. He has mastered the push and pull routine. Which I tend to justify his poor behavior with it’s the ptsd.

I feel like I’m running out of time. I’ll be an empty nester soon, my parents my supporters becoming elderly (god bless them) they neglected me but it wasn’t their fault they were served bad cards, and my diseases are progressive eventually causing kidney failure. Im always alone, feel undeserving of happiness, dont want to burden others. My biggest fear is not being a burden to anyone on the other side of coin I don’t want to do life alone anymore. When told I had 10 yrs to live, I gave up on marriage and having more kids. I’m so tired. Life is getting harder. And to top it off, with all my ailments including ptsd I still was denied disability. I take care of others for a living. My schedule is killing me . I’m trying so hard to stay afloat and take one day at a time
 
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AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
Welcome to the Forum! I’m sorry you have the need for such a place but glad you found us!

Sometimes living life feels like an up hill run in the mud while being shot at by arrows coming from all directions?

Having my son has been my saving grace. I’m now a grandma of 4 and that’s the BEST thing EVER. (I had a little girl 15 months after he was born who had severe brain damage. She lived 11 years and has been gone for 27 years as of November 18. Now she’s my Angel.)

I’m a much better person because of my struggles. This I know for sure...

Though being an “empty nester” has its challenges, the best is yet to come? Seeing our children succeed and being happy is priceless♥️

I hope you find this place to be as excellent as I have found it to be. There is empathy and compassion along with opinions and answers to questions you may have.

Blessings and Peace to you and your family ♥️
 

Lotsoflove

New Here
Welcome to the Forum! I’m sorry you have the need for such a place but glad you found us!

Sometimes living life feels like an up hill run in the mud while being shot at by arrows coming from all directions?

Having my son has been my saving grace. I’m now a grandma of 4 and that’s the BEST thing EVER. (I had a little girl 15 months after he was born who had severe brain damage. She lived 11 years and has been gone for 27 years as of November 18. Now she’s my Angel.)

I’m a much better person because of my struggles. This I know for sure...

Though being an “empty nester” has its challenges, the best is yet to come? Seeing our children succeed and being happy is priceless♥️

I hope you find this place to be as excellent as I have found it to be. There is empathy and compassion along with opinions and answers to questions you may have.

Blessings and Peace to you and your family ♥️
Thank you for your kind words and positivity. Blessings and peace to you as well
 

Lotsoflove

New Here
Welcome to the community!
Thank you! Happy to have found it. It’s been helpful as I’ve been lurking behind the scenes for months. Just recently have been having an exceptionally tough time with health declining. As more things become out of my control I found myself becoming unhinged , vulnerable and wanting more stability from my guy who at this time is having big life changes himself. He has come a long way. I have to remember boundaries as he has been rehabilitating from major PTSD. So I can’t expect much from him now. My therapist is trash! The absolutely worst. I do have some family and friends. But none who understand chronic illnesses that I have or why I have been so patient with my guy. Can’t help who you love. And finding someone new takes so much energy. I don’t have it in me.
 
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