Boyfriend’s sister constantly abuses me.

C

CWitch

I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for 9 years now and over that entire time his sister has insulted everything about me, from my appearance to my job or hobbies. I came from an extremely abusive household where I was told I’d never be good enough for anything so when the sister says these things it really sets me back in the progress I’m trying to make about how I feel about myself.

She only does this to me as far as I’m aware. Everyone in the family thinks she’s absolutely perfect and when I tried to talk to her about this behavior, the entire family started treating me like I wasn’t wanted around. But the weirdest thing is that she’ll pretend to be my friend when it benefits her. She wanted me to be the maid of honor at her wedding, she invites me to “girl’s nights” but she’ll introduce me as “sorta a friend but not really”.

I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to make progress with how I feel about myself but she has almost become a trigger for me, to the point that her name will put me on edge. My bf doesn’t really see any of this, but says we should try to talk to her together about how I feel. But I don’t see what good that will do since I tried talking to her on my own qnd that went so poorly. I don’t know how to handle this situation.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
i had a similar problem with my husband's father. he died in our 36th year of marriage and when i got the news, i secretly slipped outside to sing a few rounds of, "ding dong, the witch is dead. which old witch? the wicked witch. ding dong, the wicked witch is dead."

it was far from a perfect solution, but i accepted that it was **just** the nature of the beast. when he knocked the progress out of me, which he did on a routine basis, i worked to **just** consider the source.
 

caroline_13

MyPTSD Pro
I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for 9 years now and over that entire time his sister has insulted everything about me, from my appearance to my job or hobbies. I came from an extremely abusive household where I was told I’d never be good enough for anything so when the sister says these things it really sets me back in the progress I’m trying to make about how I feel about myself.

She only does this to me as far as I’m aware. Everyone in the family thinks she’s absolutely perfect and when I tried to talk to her about this behavior, the entire family started treating me like I wasn’t wanted around. But the weirdest thing is that she’ll pretend to be my friend when it benefits her. She wanted me to be the maid of honor at her wedding, she invites me to “girl’s nights” but she’ll introduce me as “sorta a friend but not really”.

I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to make progress with how I feel about myself but she has almost become a trigger for me, to the point that her name will put me on edge. My bf doesn’t really see any of this, but says we should try to talk to her together about how I feel. But I don’t see what good that will do since I tried talking to her on my own qnd that went so poorly. I don’t know how to handle this situation.
You shouldn't have to put up with this... I am so sorry this is happening. But I'm not liking your boyfriend's behavior.

You are carrying this all on your shoulders.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
You shouldn't have to put up with this... I am so sorry this is happening. But I'm not liking your boyfriend's behavior.

You are carrying this all on your shoulders.

Agreed.

If your partner won’t go to bat for you when one of his family members doesn’t treat you well, this speaks volumes. This is what made me realize that there was no future with my ex. His family would put me down and he would do nothing.
 
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