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Breaking the bedroom habit

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TruthSeeker

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Anyone live in their bedroom and ever live to tell how they changed that habit? I spend the majority of my time in bed once I get home. I'm talking years and years and years. I climb out in the morning, go to work, then come home, to throw a meal in the oven, put on JamJaams, climb in and warm it up. I live alone now, but in the past the bed has been a sanctuary-a quiet safe place. I watch TV, hang on my computer, listen to music, write, draw, and run most of my affairs from the comfort of my bed. I don't need a whole house-just a bedroom, mini fridge, stove, and bathroom-that would have been a cheaper investment than this house.
 
I wouldn't say I've been able to change that habit, but I have some thoughts.
I feel like the first thing you need to decide is if you want to change that habit, which it sounds like you do since you made this post (like I know for me, the thought of being able to get into bed with a meal after being at uni for the day brings a lot of comfort so I'm sticking to it for now, but props to you for wanting to change :) )
Then I suppose the next thing (the hard part) is to come up with strategies to get you out of bed.
-are there any hobbies you like to do inside/outside aside from the drawing etc you do from bed? Maybe drawing outside would be a novel source of inspiration?
-you could make a time with yourself, where you don't get into bed straight away after getting home and do some things you normally would in bed elsewhere until it gets to a particular time, eg. 8pm/ maybe when a favourite tv show is on.
-or you could set yourself the challenge of one day a week (or two:)) where you don't get into bed straight after work, and then the other 5/6 days you can do whatever, to try and ease into breaking the habit
 
@Bkinder , I have a cape cod starter castle in which I live in the top part--two rooms, bathroom and "kitchenette" in closet. The rest of the house? I rent out. Now I live free, in bed as much as I want when I'm not busy and a cleaner even comes over twice a month to keep the main floor looking clean. Oh, and the out of state bf never comes to visit so,...it's a perfect set up for me :)
 
I lived in my bedroom the whole time I was with my abuser. Never had been into that before. I preferred to only really sleep and change and stuff in my bedroom, but I was forced to be cooped up in it all the time, with him, with his mess.

The idea of spending all my time cooped up in one room is really depressing, to me, because it just reminds me of my trauma.

Maybe that is why I spend so little time in it now. I have the opposite problem: I often don't even sleep in my bedroom, I opt for a couch in the living room for at least most of most nights.

Sometimes I isolate in there, but I prefer just being in there until outside my room becomes tolerable again. I don't like to spend all day in there and begin to get sad if I do. My instruments are in my room, so usually for isolation I just go play music. During the day if noone is home I take stuff upstairs and just practice wherever, sometimes while pacing around.

Eating in bed is also something my abuser did and I always hated it *shudders*

To each their own, but I have to avoid that stuff that reminds me of him too much.

As far as changing habits goes: try moving all the fun stuff to do into other rooms. Computer, all that.
 
Is it a matter of needing to be out of bed but still in your house (for alone time or rest time), or can you start socializing and doing things outside of your home?
 
Back when I was extremely depressed, yes. I think that just lasted a whole summer. I try to make myself go outside and soak up the sun a little. Even if it is just in my backyard, or a 5 min walk. It can be very hard to do that times when one is feeling a certain way. :hugs:
 
My dog never lets me stay in bed.
Same thing with my Guinea Pig. Then too, my fish would die if I did not at least feed them. Pets are great!

Anyone live in their bedroom and ever live to tell how they changed that habit? I spend the majority of...
One time I spent 2 weeks in my bed. I think this was before I had pets. Anyway, I was so depressed I just laid there and looked at the wall or slept. I probably got up to eat and take care of personal needs, but nothing else. I do not recall what had spun me into a tailspin, but I soon realized that I needed to get out of that bed. I had a feeling if I stayed there any longer something horrible would happen.

It was not long after this that I asked my landlady if I could get a dog. The dog and I went out for walks every morning and then she would need to go out several times a day too. That was the end of my staying in bed. The dog cured my depression quite a lot.

It is years later now. I cannot deal with a dog where I live now, so I have the Guinea Pig. He squeals and squeaks if I ignore him at mealtimes. This includes getting me off the computer if I have been on it too long too!
 
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I lived in my bedroom the whole time I was with my abuser. Never had been into that before. I preferr...
That sounds like cold turkey.......my immediate reaction is ......who determines normal when you live alone? As I look back, my place of refuge was away from the husband...if he was in the bedroom, I was in the living room. The last 3 years, I was in the bedroom... with computer, wireless printer, phone, music, art stuff, and I worked and played in bed while watching TV. This has become a habit. It came about to reduce the negative and LOUD I had to listen to after coming home from work...I guess it helped make my evening hours more predictable and less negative.

Now it is just me and no one else lives here. I got rid of the old bed and got a new one for the new bedroom and I got a big TV. Your suggestion of moving everything that is fun out of the bedroom screams....OMG NO! inside. Wow, I'm going to have to think about why I feel like this...I don't think the rest of the world spends the majority of the time in their bedroom....when they have an entire house to live in. I don't think I know what normal is....bedroom has = refuge. Hum....do I need a refuge anymore? Thank you for stopping to respond. Lots of food for thought.
 
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Is it a matter of needing to be out of bed but still in your house (for alone time or rest time),...
When married, I used to do all the planning and executing of holidays, vacations, get-togethers for my crazy family, cook meals, all that social stuff but got absolutely nothing out of it because they socialized while I slaved in the kitchen-socializing wasn't a we thing..they didn't clean or ask if help was needed....always exhausted making sure they had a nice time...it was my norm........it was a me thing and them thing-the pronoun us wasn't involved.

I had a couple of music groups coming over, and that was always criticized-husband only wanted to socialize with children and grandchildren....he had no friends and didn't like outsiders. With father no longer living with me, I don't arrange his social time anymore either. In the divorce and the family exclusion (I have no immediate family with close connections), all of the relationships that were-aren't any longer. Its just me, a girlfriend, and periodic music friends about once every 8-10 weeks.
So if social is getting my hair cut or toenails polished, going grocery shopping, or to the bank, I do those things. I go to work and come home and I'm tired. On the weekends, I'm up more...usually with a list, doing stuff around the house. I go out with a friend maybe once a week. I socialize with friends no more than I did when I was with the crazy family.

Warm weather is coming and I have a porch. It might be nice to use it in the evenings...the view is very pretty over the river.
 
I am a bedroom dweller. Bed room is my safe place.

I have pets too, so I have yo leave to ccater to their needs but i scurry out and back in as soon as possible. It's no way to live. Last time my partner and I travelled I found I immediately set up camp in the bedroom and did not wsng to go out at all for leisure activities. It was almost impossible to leave the room for social/ sightseeing without my dogs with us :(
 
I am a bedroom dweller. Bed room is my safe place.

I have pets too, so I have yo leave to ccater to th...
Yea, I think my butt is the shape it is because of the ways I sit in bed so much. HAHA...it formed to the shape of the bed. Kind of a funny shape. My cats hang out here with me in bed and they get upset if I don't go add more food and water to their dishes or let them out to play. That's about all that gets me up. Right now, I have a virus.....a real reason to stay in bed. Wow....I need a life.
 
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