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Breaking up is so hard to do

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Eagle3

MyPTSD Pro
My awesome T finally got in touch with me. He's having a hard time with his treatment, said almost everything he'd been told is actually the OPPOSITE of what he's experiencing. He said he had NO IDEA when he'd be back, but he'd let me know when he's ready to practice again. Of course, my experience with cancer and the American medical system leave me feeling like I will never see this man again. So I have to make the hard call to find a replacement until my T makes the final decision.

I found a guy relatively close by who operates in a similar modality to my T, but he's not a Master's-level clinician. He IS, however, a non-profit who offers a sliding scale and grief work. I contacted him today, and have not been able to stop crying since. I HATE this!!! I want MY T back!! Why can't I keep people who are really good and helpful for me??
 
I'm sorry for what you are going through. The grief of losing someone so intimate as a therapist is really just on the verge of devastating. I miss my counselor so many times and wish he was a "real" person at times. I know he's real, but he's not in my daily functioning life. I committed myself to deepening my connections with others outside the therapy room. I hope you get all you need. Peace and Comfort to you.
 
Hi, I had a T that had cancer. He came back. But I ended up finding a new T anyway, and it turned out to be a much better fit. All that being said, it was really rough at the time and I'm sorry you are dealing with that.
 
The new prospect is a drug/alcohol addiction counselor. I know they have NO training in clinical counseling, but I'm more interested in his energy/spiritual modality than anything else. As long as I have a healthy attachment to SOMEONE I can take care of myself, but I need the energy work and dealing with the grief of losing yet another person who is dear to me. This new guy espouses he does all this. I'm gonna check him out, and if he's not right I won't go back. Gotta start somewhere, right?
 
in my state the drug counseling designation, which must be licensed in my state, does require many hours of clinical counseling in their training. and they are supervised. I think sometimes these technicians are better because they treat you like a person not some some "diagnosed" person with a "sickness" and are open-minded to sometimes weird stuff that works, and not "evidence based" treatment or "what does the research say." And they don't get hung up if the client leads the direction of their therapy. Dealing with alcohol addicted people they are familiar and skilled with emotion avoidance issues.
 
Why can't I keep people who are really good and helpful for me??

When you can cure cancer, you can blame yourself for your T’s cancer. Until then? It’s not your fault. You didn’t give him cancer, and you’re not the one withholding the cure for it.

in my state the drug counseling designation, which must be licensed in my state, does require many hour...

In mine it’s a 1 quarter (90 day) certification. No age or educational prerequisite. There are high school students (and ya dropouts) with their CDP / CDCs

That’s better than it used to be. Used to be it was just a $30 license fee.

Still, 3mo vs 8-12 years (MS -PhD).
 
I’d echo the need to check their qualifications and experience very carefully.

I know they have NO training in clinical counseling, but I'm more interested in his energy/spiritual modality than anything else

Someone with no training, but good energy is fine if you’re just looking for a mentor or a friend. Letting someone loose on your psyche however is a completely different thing. Letting someone loose on your traumatised psyche even more so.

The danger with such lack of training is that the desire to help can overtake the common sense bit that knows they don’t have the knowledge or experience to work with trauma. Or worse, they may not even realise they aren’t skilled enough to deal with trauma, do stuff that feels great at the time (no time boundaries, always available because they know you need attachment etc) but which is ultimately damaging.

I’d be treading very carefully - this strikes me as “I need someone”. I’m ending with my T just now, I honestly get how hard it is but don’t trust just anyone with your mind.
 
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