Can A Relationship Last If Both Have PTSD?

What are the odds of a relationship lasting if both partners suffer with PTSD?
@Jade-, I appreciate your question. Relationships can be complex, especially when both partners are dealing with PTSD. While I don't have specific statistics on the odds of a relationship lasting in this situation, I can offer some insights.

The impact of PTSD on relationships can vary depending on individual circumstances, symptoms, and the level of support and understanding between partners. It's essential to remember that each relationship is unique, and factors beyond PTSD can also influence its longevity.

To better understand your situation, could you provide some more details about the challenges you and your partner are facing due to PTSD? How are you currently managing and supporting each other?
 
He is a combat veteran and the main issue is when he has nightmares. When he awakes from them he is in a half awake/half asleep state and starts yelling at me for no apparent reason. That in turn triggers me and I spiral downward real fast and it takes a couple of days for me to recover.

We have discussed the issue quite a few times already. He is apologetic and reminds me that he never means anything he says in that state. He wants me to understand and be compassionate about it, which I am, but that's not enough to keep myself from being triggered.

It's a fairly new relationship and I would like to make it last but I'm not sure how to deal with this.
 
He is a combat veteran and the main issue is when he has nightmares. When he awakes from them he is in a half awake/half asleep state and starts yelling at me for no apparent reason. That in turn triggers me and I spiral downward real fast and it takes a couple of days for me to recover.

We have discussed the issue quite a few times already. He is apologetic and reminds me that he never means anything he says in that state. He wants me to understand and be compassionate about it, which I am, but that's not enough to keep myself from being triggered.

It's a fairly new relationship and I would like to make it last but I'm not sure how to deal with this.
@Jade-, thank you for sharing more about your situation. It sounds like both you and your partner are dealing with the challenges that can come with PTSD symptoms, particularly his nightmares and the resulting interactions between you.

It's positive that your partner recognizes the impact of his actions and communicates his intentions. However, it's understandable that these experiences can trigger you as well, leading to a difficult cycle for both of you.

It's important to prioritize your well-being and find ways to manage triggers and support each other as a couple. Have you tried any coping strategies or techniques to navigate these episodes? It might be helpful for both of you to explore effective methods for managing triggers and finding a sense of calm during and after these situations.

In addition to discussing this issue, have you considered involving professionals, such as therapists or counselors who specialize in trauma and relationship therapy? They can offer guidance and tailored strategies to help navigate these challenges.

Remember, taking care of your own mental health is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any specific support you are seeking in regards to this situation?
 
I need to develop coping strategies to deal with this situation. He can't prevent having nightmares so I need to find ways to cope.

If it was obvious he's having nightmares it would be much easier. I can't always tell that he is ,he's not always thrashing around, yelling or anything like that so it really catches me off guard if he starts yelling when he wakes up. I think that's what's triggering me so badly.
 
I need to develop coping strategies to deal with this situation. He can't prevent having nightmares so I need to find ways to cope.

If it was obvious he's having nightmares it would be much easier. I can't always tell that he is ,he's not always thrashing around, yelling or anything like that so it really catches me off guard if he starts yelling when he wakes up. I think that's what's triggering me so badly.
@Jade-, I understand how challenging it can be to cope with the unpredictability of your partner's nightmares and their resulting behaviors. It's essential for you to focus on developing coping strategies to help support yourself during these episodes. Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful:

1. Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your partner that communicate your needs during these episodes. Let him know how his yelling affects you and discuss ways to minimize the impact. For example, you may need space or a gentle touch to help soothe you when he wakes up in that state.

2. Practice self-care: Engage in self-care activities that promote your emotional well-being. This may include engaging in hobbies, spending time with supportive friends or family, exercising, practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques, and seeking therapy or counseling for yourself.

3. Communication and education: Keep an open line of communication with your partner. Share your experiences and emotions, and encourage him to express his feelings as well. It may also be helpful to educate yourselves about PTSD and its impact on relationships. Understanding the disorder can increase empathy and provide both of you with strategies to manage triggers.

4. Develop a safety plan: Create a plan that outlines specific steps to take if a triggering incident occurs. This could involve temporarily separating to give each other space, utilizing grounding techniques to bring you both back to the present moment, or implementing agreed-upon communication strategies.

5. Seek support: Consider joining a support group for partners of individuals with PTSD. Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can provide validation, guidance, and a sense of community.

Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and mental health. If these coping strategies aren't sufficient or if you find yourself struggling, it may be beneficial to seek professional support from a therapist who specializes in trauma and relationships.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any specific coping strategies you would like to explore further?
 
It's pretty scary sometimes when he wakes up in that state. The things he says don't make sense and he yells very loud. I try so hard to not take it personally. logically I know he just needs a little time to fully wake up and pull out of it yet it just affects me so much.

That's why I asked what the odds are of this relationship lasting, because it feels so damaging to me at the time it happens.
 
It's pretty scary sometimes when he wakes up in that state. The things he says don't make sense and he yells very loud. I try so hard to not take it personally. logically I know he just needs a little time to fully wake up and pull out of it yet it just affects me so much.

That's why I asked what the odds are of this relationship lasting, because it feels so damaging to me at the time it happens.
@Jade-, I hear your concerns about the impact these incidents have on you and the fear and distress they can cause. It's understandable that it feels damaging in the moment and raises questions about the future of your relationship.

While I can't predict the outcome of your specific relationship, I encourage you to remember that the challenging behaviors you're witnessing are symptoms of PTSD. It's important to separate the person from the symptoms they're experiencing. Your partner's actions during these episodes don't define the entire relationship or who he is as a person.

Building a resilient relationship in the face of trauma requires understanding, communication, and a commitment to working together. It may be beneficial for both of you to seek professional support. A therapist with expertise in trauma and relationships can provide guidance to help navigate these challenges, improve communication, and develop coping strategies.

It's also important to assess whether you have a support system in place outside of the relationship. Friends, family, or support groups can provide you with additional emotional support and understanding during difficult times.

As you continue to explore coping strategies, I encourage you to practice self-compassion and prioritize your own well-being. Remember to take breaks when needed and engage in self-care activities that nurture your emotional and mental health.

Ultimately, the decision about the future of your relationship is a personal one that only you can make. Through open communication, education, support, and professional guidance, it's possible to find ways to cope with and navigate the challenges you're facing. Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any specific concerns you'd like to address further?
 
It's important to separate the person from the symptoms they're experiencing. Your partner's actions during these episodes don't define the entire relationship or who he is as a person.

That's something I hadn't really thought about, separating the person from the symptoms. If I can just remember that during one of these times I do believe it could make a big difference.
 
It's important to separate the person from the symptoms they're experiencing. Your partner's actions during these episodes don't define the entire relationship or who he is as a person.

That's something I hadn't really thought about, separating the person from the symptoms. If I can just remember that during one of these times I do believe it could make a big difference.
@Jade-, I'm glad that perspective resonates with you. Separating the person from their symptoms can indeed make a significant difference in how you approach and respond to these challenging situations. It allows for a more compassionate understanding of the underlying difficulties your partner is going through.

Remembering that his actions during these episodes do not define him as a person can help you maintain a sense of empathy and support while also taking care of yourself. By recognizing that it is the symptoms of PTSD, rather than intentional behavior, you can approach these moments with a deeper understanding and patience.

Additionally, communication with your partner about this perspective can be valuable. Letting him know that you are working on seeing the symptoms separately from who he is as a person can foster a sense of trust and validation, which is crucial in nurturing your relationship.

As you continue on this journey, be gentle with yourself. It may take time to fully internalize this mindset and find what works best for you. Remember to seek support and consider professional help if needed.

Is there anything else you would like to explore or discuss further?
 
I have been beating myself up for how I reacted the last time this happened. I have been ashamed of myself for my behavior.

I guess I need to remember that my actions don't define me as a person and are symptoms of my PTSD also
 
I have been beating myself up for how I reacted the last time this happened. I have been ashamed of myself for my behavior.

I guess I need to remember that my actions don't define me as a person and are symptoms of my PTSD also
@Jade-, it's understandable to feel distress and regret about your past reactions during difficult moments. However, it's important to remember that your actions during those times do not define you as a person. They are symptoms of your own PTSD, just like the symptoms your partner experiences.

Shame and self-blame are common reactions in trauma survivors, but it's crucial to practice self-compassion and understanding. Remember that PTSD can significantly impact how you respond to triggers and stressors. By recognizing this, you can develop strategies to manage your reactions and find more constructive ways to cope.

Acknowledging that your actions are symptoms of your PTSD can provide a new perspective, helping you approach self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist who specializes in trauma to work through these feelings and develop coping strategies tailored to your needs.

Remember, healing from trauma is a journey, and it's essential to be patient and kind to yourself along the way. Is there anything specific you would like to explore or discuss further?
 
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