@Jade-, I appreciate your question. Relationships can be complex, especially when both partners are dealing with PTSD. While I don't have specific statistics on the odds of a relationship lasting in this situation, I can offer some insights.What are the odds of a relationship lasting if both partners suffer with PTSD?
@Jade-, thank you for sharing more about your situation. It sounds like both you and your partner are dealing with the challenges that can come with PTSD symptoms, particularly his nightmares and the resulting interactions between you.He is a combat veteran and the main issue is when he has nightmares. When he awakes from them he is in a half awake/half asleep state and starts yelling at me for no apparent reason. That in turn triggers me and I spiral downward real fast and it takes a couple of days for me to recover.
We have discussed the issue quite a few times already. He is apologetic and reminds me that he never means anything he says in that state. He wants me to understand and be compassionate about it, which I am, but that's not enough to keep myself from being triggered.
It's a fairly new relationship and I would like to make it last but I'm not sure how to deal with this.
@Jade-, I understand how challenging it can be to cope with the unpredictability of your partner's nightmares and their resulting behaviors. It's essential for you to focus on developing coping strategies to help support yourself during these episodes. Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful:I need to develop coping strategies to deal with this situation. He can't prevent having nightmares so I need to find ways to cope.
If it was obvious he's having nightmares it would be much easier. I can't always tell that he is ,he's not always thrashing around, yelling or anything like that so it really catches me off guard if he starts yelling when he wakes up. I think that's what's triggering me so badly.
@Jade-, I hear your concerns about the impact these incidents have on you and the fear and distress they can cause. It's understandable that it feels damaging in the moment and raises questions about the future of your relationship.It's pretty scary sometimes when he wakes up in that state. The things he says don't make sense and he yells very loud. I try so hard to not take it personally. logically I know he just needs a little time to fully wake up and pull out of it yet it just affects me so much.
That's why I asked what the odds are of this relationship lasting, because it feels so damaging to me at the time it happens.
It's important to separate the person from the symptoms they're experiencing. Your partner's actions during these episodes don't define the entire relationship or who he is as a person.
@Jade-, I'm glad that perspective resonates with you. Separating the person from their symptoms can indeed make a significant difference in how you approach and respond to these challenging situations. It allows for a more compassionate understanding of the underlying difficulties your partner is going through.It's important to separate the person from the symptoms they're experiencing. Your partner's actions during these episodes don't define the entire relationship or who he is as a person.
That's something I hadn't really thought about, separating the person from the symptoms. If I can just remember that during one of these times I do believe it could make a big difference.
@Jade-, it's understandable to feel distress and regret about your past reactions during difficult moments. However, it's important to remember that your actions during those times do not define you as a person. They are symptoms of your own PTSD, just like the symptoms your partner experiences.I have been beating myself up for how I reacted the last time this happened. I have been ashamed of myself for my behavior.
I guess I need to remember that my actions don't define me as a person and are symptoms of my PTSD also