Can A Relationship Last If Both Have PTSD?

It's my own thinking/thoughts that cause the most problems for me.

When I am triggered by his yelling I instantly start thinking he is going to hurt/kill me. Then I start thinking omg, I don't know him that well,what if he is a serial killer or a rapist. What if he will drag me to the woods and shoot me. Then I can't be here, I gotta get out of here, I have to escape...and I get myself so worked up that I am panicking. Then I freak out,break up with him and stay away until my symptoms go away.

And then I am ok and thinking wtf did I just do and then have to go make amends. I don't know how to stop the initial reaction and thoughts
 
It's my own thinking/thoughts that cause the most problems for me.

When I am triggered by his yelling I instantly start thinking he is going to hurt/kill me. Then I start thinking omg, I don't know him that well,what if he is a serial killer or a rapist. What if he will drag me to the woods and shoot me. Then I can't be here, I gotta get out of here, I have to escape...and I get myself so worked up that I am panicking. Then I freak out,break up with him and stay away until my symptoms go away.

And then I am ok and thinking wtf did I just do and then have to go make amends. I don't know how to stop the initial reaction and thoughts
@Jade-, I can understand how distressing and overwhelming these thoughts and reactions can be for you. It sounds like your mind is quickly jumping to worst-case scenarios and triggering intense anxiety and panic.

It's important to remember that these thoughts and reactions are a symptom of your PTSD. Trauma can cause our brains to be hypervigilant and constantly on guard for potential threats.

One strategy that might be helpful for you is grounding techniques. Grounding can help bring you back into the present moment and alleviate the intensity of these intrusive thoughts. One technique you can try is the 5-4-3-2-1 method: Take a deep breath and then identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise can help divert your attention away from the frightening thoughts and bring you back to the present reality.

Working with a therapist who specializes in trauma can also be beneficial. They can help you explore and reframe these automatic negative thoughts and develop strategies to manage them more effectively. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are evidence-based therapies that can specifically target and alleviate the distress caused by traumatic thoughts and memories.

Remember, it's a process, and it takes time and practice to develop new thought patterns and coping mechanisms. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this journey. Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any other concerns you'd like to address?
 
I was triggered again today and I think I handled it pretty well with self talk, trying to counteract all the instant negative thoughts that began. It took everything in me to not react, to not flee, etc.

But I only did well outwardly, inside I was a mess and on the verge of panic. I still am a mess actually and still fighting against everything in my mind. I keep thinking he's not safe at all, I need to dump him for good, and now I'm also beginning to feel bad and think badly about myself, my self worth, etc.

I really do not want to spiral down over this. And I am trying to figure out how to prevent that from happening
 
I was triggered again today and I think I handled it pretty well with self talk, trying to counteract all the instant negative thoughts that began. It took everything in me to not react, to not flee, etc.

But I only did well outwardly, inside I was a mess and on the verge of panic. I still am a mess actually and still fighting against everything in my mind. I keep thinking he's not safe at all, I need to dump him for good, and now I'm also beginning to feel bad and think badly about myself, my self worth, etc.

I really do not want to spiral down over this. And I am trying to figure out how to prevent that from happening
@Jade-, firstly, I want to acknowledge your resilience and strength in handling the triggering situation today. It's commendable that you were able to use self-talk to counteract the negative thoughts and resist the urge to react or flee.

However, it's understandable that internally you may still feel overwhelmed and on the verge of panic. Trauma responses can be intense and deeply ingrained, and it takes time and practice to regulate your emotions and find a sense of calm.

To prevent yourself from spiraling down, it's important to prioritize self-care and engage in activities that support your well-being. Self-care can look different for everyone, so it's important to find what works best for you. It could involve activities such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness or meditation practices, engaging in hobbies or activities that bring you joy, connecting with loved ones or seeking support from a therapist or support group.

Addressing the thoughts questioning your partner's safety and your self-worth is also crucial. It may be helpful to explore these thoughts further with a therapist who can guide you through them and help you challenge and reframe them. Remember, these thoughts are symptoms of your PTSD and do not necessarily reflect the reality of your relationship or your self-worth.

Finally, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Recovery from trauma is a process that takes time. Celebrate the progress you made in handling the triggering situation today, even if the internal struggle remains. Reach out for support when you need it, whether it's from trusted friends, family, or professionals. You are not alone in this journey.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any other concerns you'd like to address?
 
What if I don't even have time for self care right now because of the amount of hours I am working?

What are things I can do to help myself while at work? It's an office job with plenty of down time.
 
What if I don't even have time for self care right now because of the amount of hours I am working?

What are things I can do to help myself while at work? It's an office job with plenty of down time.
@Jade-, it can be challenging to find time for self-care when you have a demanding work schedule. However, taking care of yourself, even in small ways, is vital for your well-being. Let's explore some strategies you can implement while at work to support yourself:

1. Take short breaks: Use your downtime during work to take short breaks, even if it's just a few minutes. Step away from your desk, stretch your body, practice deep breathing, or engage in a quick mindfulness exercise. These small breaks can help you reset and reduce stress levels.

2. Practice grounding techniques: When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or triggered, utilize grounding techniques. Focus on your senses by noticing the sensation of your feet on the ground, the temperature of your surroundings, or the sounds in the office. This can help bring you back to the present moment and provide a sense of stability.

3. Use positive affirmations: Incorporate positive self-talk and affirmations into your day. Remind yourself of your strength, resilience, and worthiness. Repeat empowering phrases or mantras silently to yourself, such as "I am capable," "I am deserving of love and respect," or "I am safe in this moment." These affirmations can help counteract negative thoughts and build your self-confidence.

4. Utilize supportive resources: Consider using resources like guided meditation apps, relaxation exercises on YouTube, or podcasts focused on stress reduction that you can listen to during your breaks or commute. These resources can provide valuable support and guidance throughout your workday.

Remember, self-care doesn't have to be time-consuming or elaborate. It can be as simple as taking a few moments to check in with yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, or practice mindfulness in everyday moments. Every small step you take towards caring for yourself matters.

Is there anything else specific you would like to discuss or any other workplace-related concerns you'd like to address?
 
I was triggered again yesterday by his yelling. I reacted, he reacted and as of right now we are not a couple anymore.

It's so exhausting trying to have a relationship when all we are doing is reacting to each other. I will be starting therapy again because I am ready to start working through my crap again. I admit I need help.

But what about him? Shouldn't he seek help too?
 
I was triggered again yesterday by his yelling. I reacted, he reacted and as of right now we are not a couple anymore.

It's so exhausting trying to have a relationship when all we are doing is reacting to each other. I will be starting therapy again because I am ready to start working through my crap again. I admit I need help.

But what about him? Shouldn't he seek help too?
@Jade-, I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner have decided to end your relationship due to the recurring triggers and reactions. It can indeed be exhausting and challenging to maintain a healthy relationship when both parties are struggling with their own unresolved trauma.

While it's understandable for you to prioritize seeking therapy and working through your own experiences, whether or not your partner seeks help is ultimately their decision. It's important to recognize that each individual has their own journey and agency when it comes to seeking support and healing.

You can certainly express your concerns to your ex-partner about the impact of trauma on your relationship and the potential benefits of therapy. However, it's crucial to respect their autonomy and recognize that they may have their own reasons or hesitations when it comes to seeking help.

Focus on taking care of yourself and engaging in therapy to explore and heal from your past experiences. Working with a therapist can provide you with valuable insights, coping strategies, and a safe space to process your trauma.

As you progress in therapy, you may find it helpful to explore boundaries and communication techniques to establish healthier dynamics in future relationships. Remember that healing takes time, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this journey.

Is there anything else you'd like to discuss or any other concerns you'd like to address?
 
I am not sure if we are really broken up or not ,this is just the same cycle we continue to go through. And then we end up back together.

I guess what I want to know is whether just me seeking help can make a difference in our relationship
 
I am not sure if we are really broken up or not ,this is just the same cycle we continue to go through. And then we end up back together.

I guess what I want to know is whether just me seeking help can make a difference in our relationship
@Jade-, I understand that the cycle of breaking up and getting back together can be confusing and emotionally exhausting. It's important to remember that seeking help for yourself through therapy can have a positive impact on your overall well-being, including your relationships.

By focusing on your own healing and personal growth, you can develop healthier coping mechanisms, a better understanding of your needs, and improved communication skills. This can potentially contribute to a more stable and fulfilling relationship dynamic if both partners are committed to their own growth.

However, it's also important to recognize that making changes solely on your end does not guarantee that the relationship will automatically improve. Both parties need to be willing to engage in personal growth and take responsibility for their own actions and patterns.

Open and honest communication with your partner about your desires for personal growth and the potential benefits of therapy may help to initiate a dialogue and encourage them to reflect on their own journey. However, it's ultimately up to them whether they choose to seek help or make changes.

Remember that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. If you find that the cycle of triggers and reactions continues despite your efforts, it may be important to reassess the dynamics of the relationship and prioritize your own well-being.

Working on your own healing can bring valuable insights and empowerment. If the relationship is meant to evolve and grow, both partners need to be willing to do the necessary work individually and, potentially, as a couple.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any other questions or concerns you'd like to address?
 
I started therapy again and have had 2 sessions so far. This therapist thinks maybe I need to back away from this relationship a bit and focus on myself for awhile.

Do you agree with that?
 
I started therapy again and have had 2 sessions so far. This therapist thinks maybe I need to back away from this relationship a bit and focus on myself for awhile.

Do you agree with that?
@Jade-, I'm glad to hear that you've started therapy again and have had a couple of sessions so far. It's positive that you are seeking support and actively working on your healing.

Therapists can provide valuable insights and guidance based on their professional expertise and the information you share with them. While I cannot offer a definitive opinion as an AI, I can tell you that therapy can often help individuals gain clarity and perspective on their relationships.

When a therapist suggests stepping back and focusing on oneself, it is often with the intention of creating space for personal growth, healing, and self-reflection. This can help you gain a better understanding of your own needs, boundaries, and patterns, and potentially improve your overall well-being.

It's important to approach this suggestion with an open mind and consider the reasons behind it. Take some time to reflect on your own goals, desires, and the dynamics within your relationship. Consider how stepping back and focusing on yourself could potentially benefit your emotional and mental health.

Remember, therapy is a collaborative process, and ultimately, it is your decision on how you choose to navigate your relationship. Discuss your thoughts and concerns with your therapist, as they can provide you with more tailored advice and guidance based on their expertise and knowledge of your specific situation.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any other questions or concerns you'd like to address?
 
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