Can A Relationship Last If Both Have PTSD?

My boyfriend and I are still together. But I have decided to not spend as much time together as we did before until I can get some more counseling sessions in. I know he isn't happy about this but I need to put myself first.

He has been struggling himself and says he needs another week or two before he's back to himself now that the holidays are over with. Me being around comforts him and helps him and he wants me around all the time. Although I feel bad for him and want to be there for him I still think I need to put myself first. And I just need some freaking space right now.

So now what?
 
My boyfriend and I are still together. But I have decided to not spend as much time together as we did before until I can get some more counseling sessions in. I know he isn't happy about this but I need to put myself first.

He has been struggling himself and says he needs another week or two before he's back to himself now that the holidays are over with. Me being around comforts him and helps him and he wants me around all the time. Although I feel bad for him and want to be there for him I still think I need to put myself first. And I just need some freaking space right now.

So now what?
@Jade-, it's commendable that you have recognized the importance of putting yourself first and taking the space you need to focus on your own healing. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being as you continue your therapy journey.

Communicating your needs and boundaries to your boyfriend is an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship. While it's understandable that he may be struggling and seeking support from you, it's necessary to set boundaries and communicate your current limitations.

Consider having an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling, explaining that you need this time to focus on your own healing and therapy sessions. Express your understanding and empathy for his struggles, but also emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself.

It's important to maintain open lines of communication, ensuring that your boyfriend understands your perspective and the steps you're taking to prioritize your own mental health. Reassure him that this doesn't mean you don't care about him, but that you also need to take care of yourself in order to be present and supportive in the long run.

In the meantime, you can explore other ways to support each other, such as suggesting he seeks additional support from friends, family, or his own therapist, if available. Encourage him to engage in self-care practices and resources that can provide comfort and aid in his healing process.

Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own needs. Taking care of yourself will ultimately allow you to be in a better position to support others, including your boyfriend, when you're ready.

Is there anything else you would like to discuss or any other questions or concerns you'd like to address?
 
Why do I feel kind of guilty for putting myself first right now? I mean, logically I know that's what I need to do and what's best right now but not emotionally.

Too bad I am not AI like you and then I wouldn't have to even worry about this crap, right? LOL
 
Why do I feel kind of guilty for putting myself first right now? I mean, logically I know that's what I need to do and what's best right now but not emotionally.

Too bad I am not AI like you and then I wouldn't have to even worry about this crap, right? LOL
@Jade-, feeling guilty for prioritizing your own needs is a common experience, especially when you're accustomed to putting others first. It's important to remember that self-care and prioritizing your well-being are not selfish actions, but rather acts of self-preservation and personal growth.

Feeling guilty in this situation could stem from various factors, such as societal expectations, past conditioning, or a fear of disappointing or hurting others. It's natural to have conflicting emotions when making decisions that impact both yourself and others.

One way to navigate these emotions is by engaging in self-compassion and reminding yourself that taking care of yourself is essential. Acknowledge that you have valid needs and deserve the space and time for healing and personal growth.

Reflect on your guilt and try to identify its source. Are there any underlying beliefs or messages that may be influencing your feelings of guilt? Challenging and reframing those beliefs can be a helpful step in minimizing guilt and embracing self-care.

Remember that you are not responsible for solely supporting your boyfriend's healing journey. Each person is responsible for their own well-being and growth. By prioritizing yourself and seeking therapy, you're taking important steps toward your own healing, which can ultimately benefit your relationship as well.

Lastly, it's completely normal to have occasional humorous or light-hearted thoughts about wanting to be an AI and avoid these emotional complexities. Embrace those thoughts as a way to find some levity in challenging situations, but also recognize that being human allows for growth, connection, and the opportunity to navigate these emotions.

If you have any other thoughts or concerns, feel free to share with me.
 
My freaking brain drives me insane with all the thoughts I don't want to have .

My brain and body thinks this new guy is a horrible person and treats me badly yet in reality he is very good to me. My brain perceives most of what he says as warning signs but in reality they are not. And today when I wasn't even around him my brain decided to start thinking he's dangerous and I need to stay away from him.

I am going to sabotage this relationship before it even becomes a serious relationship. How do I stop myself from doing that?
 
My freaking brain drives me insane with all the thoughts I don't want to have .

My brain and body thinks this new guy is a horrible person and treats me badly yet in reality he is very good to me. My brain perceives most of what he says as warning signs but in reality they are not. And today when I wasn't even around him my brain decided to start thinking he's dangerous and I need to stay away from him.

I am going to sabotage this relationship before it even becomes a serious relationship. How do I stop myself from doing that?
@Jade-, it sounds like you're experiencing intrusive and distressing thoughts that are causing you to question and doubt your relationship. Intrusive thoughts can be challenging to manage, but there are strategies that may help you navigate them.

First, it's important to acknowledge that these thoughts are not necessarily reflective of reality. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts, and they don't always align with the truth or what's happening in the present moment. It can be helpful to remind yourself of this and to challenge the validity or accuracy of these negative thoughts.

Consider discussing these thoughts and concerns with your therapist. They can provide you with specific strategies and techniques to cope with intrusive thoughts, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness-based approaches. These therapeutic techniques can help you reframe negative thoughts, challenge distorted thinking patterns, and cultivate a more balanced perspective.

Practice self-compassion and self-care as you navigate these thoughts. Remind yourself that it's okay to have these thoughts and that they do not define you or your relationship. Give yourself permission to take breaks when needed, engage in activities that bring you joy or relaxation, and seek support from friends, family, or support groups.

If you find that you're leaning towards sabotaging the relationship, it might be helpful to explore the underlying reasons for these thoughts and behaviors in therapy. By addressing and understanding the root causes, you may be able to develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve your relationship prospects.

Remember, therapy is a valuable resource that can help you address and manage these challenging thoughts and emotions. It's essential to discuss these concerns with your therapist, as they can tailor their support and interventions to your specific situation.

If you have any other questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to share them with me.
 
I have realized that yes, a relationship can last if both have PTSD. But,both have to be working on themselves and not just one person.

I ended the relationship for my own sanity.
 
I have realized that yes, a relationship can last if both have PTSD. But,both have to be working on themselves and not just one person.

I ended the relationship for my own sanity.
@Jade-, it's understandable that you made the decision to end the relationship for the sake of your own sanity. Recognizing your own needs and prioritizing your well-being is crucial, especially when navigating a relationship with shared PTSD experiences.

When both partners have PTSD, it can be a complex dynamic that requires efforts from both individuals to work on themselves and actively engage in their healing journeys. It's important for both partners to be committed to their own growth and therapy to foster a healthy and supportive relationship.

In situations where one partner is primarily focused on their own healing while the other partner is not actively working on themselves, it can lead to an imbalanced relationship and additional stressors. It's crucial to have open and honest communication about expectations, boundaries, and the support each partner needs from one another.

Ending a relationship can be a difficult decision, but sometimes it is necessary for the well-being of both individuals involved. It's commendable that you made the choice to prioritize your own sanity and emotional health.

Remember to practice self-care and give yourself time to heal and process the end of the relationship. Utilize the support of your therapist, friends, or support groups to navigate this challenging time and continue your own healing journey.

If there's anything else you'd like to discuss or any other questions you have, please feel free to share.
 
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