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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Friday" data-source="post: 1769642" data-attributes="member: 27208">I’m afraid I have to agree with everyone else… Even IF she has PTSD (which would not be from this incident; UNLESS you got fired for raping coworkers and she actually witnessed you raping one or more people, or was raped by you; or you were involved in a workplace related death or deaths, which she also witnessed, even if you were in no way at fault -or- the hero of the day -or- just someone she passed in the hall on the way to the machinery now tangled with people)… there’s 1) no possible way for you to be a trauma-trigger. 2) no possible way to guess what -if anything- is going on with her. She may be eyeballs deep in trouble AND assistance from others, but those she has chosen to confide in? Aren’t gossips. IE they won’t tell anyone who isn’t already in the know what’s going on. Or she could be doing absolutely lovely, top of the world, and again? The people she confides in are not gossips, so they won’t go around shouting her good news, the same way they won’t go shouting her bad news. It can be deeply confusing to wake up one day and realize that someone we thought of as a friend, no longer is. Whether it happened 5 minutes ago for very obvious reasons, or years back and we’re just now noticing, the change was so gradual. One Of the best pieces of advice I was ever given regarding friendship:People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But we won’t know which is which, until the end. She was in your life for a season. As the reasons that created that season/ the connections broke? The job you shared, the tie to your mother, the season ended. Why did the season end, instead of shifting into a new kind of relationship? No one will ever know. There are too many possibilities. The only known fact is that it did end. Gradually, with lessened contact over time, and now a firm statement of no-contact. Feeling guilty for WHY the season ended? Can be useful, if it teaches you what to TRY differently next time. (Try capitalized, because there are no guarantees in life. You can make sure to treat people you value differently; shared job? Meet up outside of work. Lost job? Continue meeting up. Etc. But? Their life might be moving in a different direction, and it doesn’t matter how much you try and keep in contact, if they can’t or won’t. Ditto in reverse, someone else may be trying to stay in contact with you, when it doesn’t work in your life. Which is just life. People get busy in different directions. No matter how much they liked the person, or stil do like them, a friendship simply doesn’t work, right now. Or quite possibly ever again.) But it doesn’t do a durn bit of good to try and time machine things backwards to fix THIS relationship, to assuage the guilt. Because it’s over. For whatever reason, she’s made that very clear with the last letter/photo. Any further attempts to contact her, or turn back time, are likely to be met with restraining orders and police. Fair / unfair / wanted / not wanted / kind / harsh / subtle / direct / etc… doesn’t enter into it. It’s just what it is. The End of a season. Finis.</blockquote>

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