Relationship Can someone with PTSD use the need for space as an excuse?

Hello everyone! This looks like such a supportive community.
New here.
Just a quick question. This by no means is to cause offence to anyone- we all need personal growth and understanding. So here goes - I am trying to grow( as a person and supporter ) and better understand something - could someone with PTSD use their need for space and the need to hibernate as an excuse for a quick "get away"or an "indirect goodbye"? Almost using it as a crutch in circumstances that may be beneficial to them. This is not the majority- I refer to few supporters who just might find it happening in their lives while caring and loving a person with PTSD and being pushed away.
Has anyone experienced this in this community?
Looking forward to your insight and thoughts.
 
Absolutely! Just like someone with an illness can use it to get out of stuff or someone with kids uses them to get out of things.

The only way to know if your loved one is doing it is to share your feelings about the issue and ask them to help you understand. Because you can’t see PTSD so there isn’t a way of knowing. If your spouse was avoiding helping with household chores because they are tired from work you’d probably let it slide and it would only be an issue if it became a pattern. With PTSD we can’t always tell you the why, just the need to escape becomes unavoidable and so we bolt. Not everyone but it happens.
 
part of the traumatic event for many if us was the element if inescapability. I couldnt get away from a situation and it made it much worse, now if i can escape a situation that is not my choice to be in i will escape because i can.
not an excuse or a judgement laid on the people i am escaping from, just a spasm I carry. Sometimes i just want to be somewhere else so i dont have to deal with trying to keep my disorder out of sight, alone, usually on a drive or a walk or at an event with strangers, somewhere where i can escape simply because i couldnt always.
 
Running from a relationship is squarely within the Avoidance cluster of symptoms.

Almost using it as a crutch in circumstances that may be beneficial to them.
Using an illness as an excuse, or as a reason, can be a fine line. Either way, the only thing we can control is our response to it. Which is hopefully with compassion.
 
Yes felt it was Avoidance cluster of symptoms. Thank you for taking time to explain and leave insight.

Absolutely! Just like someone with an illness can use it to get out of stuff or someone with kids uses them to get out of things.

The only way to know if your loved one is doing it is to share your feelings about the issue and ask them to help you understand. Because you can’t see PTSD so there isn’t a way of knowing. If your spouse was avoiding helping with household chores because they are tired from work you’d probably let it slide and it would only be an issue if it became a pattern. With PTSD we can’t always tell you the why, just the need to escape becomes unavoidable and so we bolt. Not everyone but it happens.
Thank you Charbella! "The need to escape"- interesting comment and very Candid . Definitely a "bolt" - sadly it is a situation where the supporter cannot ask- a lightening bolt - Escaped at the speed of light - M.I.A - bolted - supporter felt helpless. Vanished.
Remember ever going into a maze as a kid ? Or seeing one ?
And trying to find a good friend inside it and you cannot?

You explain very well!

part of the traumatic event for many if us was the element if inescapability. I couldnt get away from a situation and it made it much worse, now if i can escape a situation that is not my choice to be in i will escape because i can.
not an excuse or a judgement laid on the people i am escaping from, just a spasm I carry. Sometimes i just want to be somewhere else so i dont have to deal with trying to keep my disorder out of sight, alone, usually on a drive or a walk or at an event with strangers, somewhere where i can escape simply because i couldnt always.
Thanks for insight. I understand that it is a coping mechanism- almost a default mode- which is taken on board with lots of compassion- However - I wonder if the person escaping ever realises the train wreck they just left behind and the impact that escaping had on loved ones.
So in essence how can "healing "come and life be "restored" if the person cannot remain and keeps escaping everything?
 
i am gonna go grammar nazi on you and state that the act of excusing is in the receiver court. i give you my reasons. you may excuse them however you wish, by whatever name gets **my** life working in **your** head.

there are a great many people in my life, both socially distant and closer than my hypervigilance can routinely handle, who try to assert themselves as the prevailing experts in my psychiatric care. my hubby is the most influential of those, though i am relieved to report that he is getting better about listening instead of renaming and reframing every symptom in my psych portfolio. yes, dear, avoidance is one of my formal therapy tools. there's not allot of sense in wading into waters by whatever name which have a long herstory of psychosis attached.

by whatever name, i needs my alone time more than your average she-bear. judge me as you see fit.
 
Hello everyone! This looks like such a supportive community.
New here.
Just a quick question. This by no means is to cause offence to anyone- we all need personal growth and understanding. So here goes - I am trying to grow( as a person and supporter ) and better understand something - could someone with PTSD use their need for space and the need to hibernate as an excuse for a quick "get away"or an "indirect goodbye"? Almost using it as a crutch in circumstances that may be beneficial to them. This is not the majority- I refer to few supporters who just might find it happening in their lives while caring and loving a person with PTSD and being pushed away.
Has anyone experienced this in this community?
Looking forward to your insight and thoughts.
Tes,absolutely.both need their space in a Relationship,trust me I had to end one because of this.totally healthy to have this.
 
could someone with PTSD use their need for space and the need to hibernate as an excuse for a quick "get away"or an "indirect goodbye"? Almost using it as a crutch in circumstances that may be beneficial to them.
Absolutely.

Almost by definition, as a crutch is a means of support.

This is not the majority-
i would disagree. As the majority of sufferers who isolate? Are doing so for personal reasons.

Not all sufferers isolate.
Nor do all sufferers have the flight impulse, instead of the fight/freeze/fawn impulse.

But?

Of those sufferers who DO isolate &/or flee?

It’s very much a structure of support.

I refer to few supporters who just might find it happening in their lives while caring and loving a person with PTSD and being pushed away.
Pretty sure that’s nearly universal with PTSD, speaking as both a sufferer and auppprter, being pushed away is very nearly textbook. Technically textbook, just also not a required symptom.
 
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