My husband with complex PTSD let me in to a seperate therapy session with his therapist the other day which I told him I appreciated him allowing me to be a part of that.
Everything was great after the session, we went to the gym and I didn't want to bring it up because I felt it was a big deal and maybe we'd sit with it for awhile and talk the next day. He asked me how it went in the car ride home and said he didn't think I stated what I was looking for. I answered, and said vulnerability and being more open in general and in the future because I know that's a hard thing to do. He cut me off and said he was doing that by me being part of the session and I wanted to finish what I was saying.
I think he took how I answered the wrong way and felt like I was trying to get him to tell me things which I was 150% not doing. He shut me down at that point and I was frantic to make sure he knew that's not what I was doing but I think I did more harm than good by trying to do that, instead of leaving it alone and talking later after emotions settled down.
I was frustrated all day yesterday and let my emotions get the best of me thinking about how he shut me down. I wrote him a letter to compile my thoughts but now realize in the midst of writing, I was stewing in negative emotions and wrote some things I didn't necessarily mean. I came home pissed after being pissed all day and didn't handle things the way I should have and I really hurt him with some things I wrote. After thinking about things while he went for a run, I realized I was hurtful in what I said.
I sincerely apologized last night and again this morning and told him I reacted emotionally instead of taking the time and space to think things through and respond with my love and care for him in mind to help us move forward and grow. I'm sure I won't be a part of any sessions going forward but did tell him all I can do is show him the work I want to put in and hope in the future there's hope of openness with me in those sensitive areas.
I feel awful, like I shot myself in the foot with this one and I couldn't be more frustrated with myself. Any suggestions where I could try to make this better or would it just be time and patience and trying to better myself about things I need to work on.
Everything was great after the session, we went to the gym and I didn't want to bring it up because I felt it was a big deal and maybe we'd sit with it for awhile and talk the next day. He asked me how it went in the car ride home and said he didn't think I stated what I was looking for. I answered, and said vulnerability and being more open in general and in the future because I know that's a hard thing to do. He cut me off and said he was doing that by me being part of the session and I wanted to finish what I was saying.
I think he took how I answered the wrong way and felt like I was trying to get him to tell me things which I was 150% not doing. He shut me down at that point and I was frantic to make sure he knew that's not what I was doing but I think I did more harm than good by trying to do that, instead of leaving it alone and talking later after emotions settled down.
I was frustrated all day yesterday and let my emotions get the best of me thinking about how he shut me down. I wrote him a letter to compile my thoughts but now realize in the midst of writing, I was stewing in negative emotions and wrote some things I didn't necessarily mean. I came home pissed after being pissed all day and didn't handle things the way I should have and I really hurt him with some things I wrote. After thinking about things while he went for a run, I realized I was hurtful in what I said.
I sincerely apologized last night and again this morning and told him I reacted emotionally instead of taking the time and space to think things through and respond with my love and care for him in mind to help us move forward and grow. I'm sure I won't be a part of any sessions going forward but did tell him all I can do is show him the work I want to put in and hope in the future there's hope of openness with me in those sensitive areas.
I feel awful, like I shot myself in the foot with this one and I couldn't be more frustrated with myself. Any suggestions where I could try to make this better or would it just be time and patience and trying to better myself about things I need to work on.