I have been in therapy for cptsd and I have begun emdr relating to some CSA that happened with a non family member. I also have been exploring some of the factors that made me vulnerable such as violence at home etc with my parents.
However I have other memories to do with one of my parents which are also csa in nature. I have never not known but I have sort of dismissed and boxed it off as not that bad. The problem I have is that I have talked about this parent a lot in therapy already but never mentioned the csa because it has been sort of boxed off. So my memory of this parent is from age 7 or 8 and after this time this parent became violent which is what I have focused on. I feel like I blocked them into two different people at two different times and blocked off the earlier stuff. I feel like how can that be possible and does it make me strange that I could do that when I did actually do some processing of the violence. I also worry it will make my therapist doubt me or not trust me that I haven't shared it yet but have been able to talk about this parent at length in terms of other things. It makes me not trust myself.
It wasn't as bad as the non family adult csa stuff but I feel like part of me wants to share it. However I am worried about how it will be seem or taken and also what it means that I only focused on the violence before. Any advice?
However I have other memories to do with one of my parents which are also csa in nature. I have never not known but I have sort of dismissed and boxed it off as not that bad. The problem I have is that I have talked about this parent a lot in therapy already but never mentioned the csa because it has been sort of boxed off. So my memory of this parent is from age 7 or 8 and after this time this parent became violent which is what I have focused on. I feel like I blocked them into two different people at two different times and blocked off the earlier stuff. I feel like how can that be possible and does it make me strange that I could do that when I did actually do some processing of the violence. I also worry it will make my therapist doubt me or not trust me that I haven't shared it yet but have been able to talk about this parent at length in terms of other things. It makes me not trust myself.
It wasn't as bad as the non family adult csa stuff but I feel like part of me wants to share it. However I am worried about how it will be seem or taken and also what it means that I only focused on the violence before. Any advice?