Can't function

Theasylumsystem

Confident
I can't function lately. I'm missing weeks going on months of my life. I don't know who I am anymore or where or what I'm doing 99% of the time. I'm missing so f*cking much but no I'm supposed to be normal. I'm supposed to go to class and work and be f*cking fine. and I'm not. and I don't think I ever will be.
 

Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
Feel you. I can't do school or work either. I ended up withdrawing from both to try and focus on healing. I'm not "normal" and I never will be, but that's OK. Normal is relative anyway. You can still be compassionate and reasonable even if you aren't "ordinary." During periods of stress my dissociation and switching tends to increase, and employment/education was a significant stressor for me. It might be similar for you.
 

MaplePancake

New Here
School and work can be tough even for people who don’t suffer from mental illness and aren’t experiencing a lot of stressors. l am not working either. And l have a lot of days were l think that if l weren’t such a weak person I would be able to push through. Oh,the shame! During those days, it is helpful for me to write down everything I did that was productive-no matter how small. I will write about how l paid attention to my cat, and how l swept the kitchen floor. It might seem pathetic, but the point of the exercise is to pull my mind away from ruminating about what I’m not doing and focus more on what I am doing
 

Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
Out of curiosity, do you have family or spousal support? If so, communicate this with them. My daughter spent most of a semester pretending that she was going to class and okay. Eventually, I knew she wasn’t, but it cost her a lot of money and time that she could have been healing. We would have helped her sooner than later. This site is a start for support and help, but over time there are people out there that will support and help you where you are, it’s just hard to realize that when you are in a really low place.
 

Theasylumsystem

Confident
According to whom?

Because, clearly, attempting to live by someone else’s expectations isn’t working for you.
Just society I guess?

I can't shake this feeling that I'm a failure. I'm trying so f*cking hard but it doesn't seem like it matters. I'm trying to just be proud of myself for even being here but I can't go to class anymore. I can't do my work-study job anymore. I don't even feel good going to my ceramics class.

I don't know what changed. I don't know why I was able to do it a few semesters ago but this year I can't even maintain a full week of classes. I just... I'm failing and everything is so much worse with my mental health.

Sorry for venting so much I just... I don't know where else to turn a lot of the time

Out of curiosity, do you have family or spousal support? If so, communicate this with them. My daughter spent most of a semester pretending that she was going to class and okay. Eventually, I knew she wasn’t, but it cost her a lot of money and time that she could have been healing. We would have helped her sooner than later. This site is a start for support and help, but over time there are people out there that will support and help you where you are, it’s just hard to realize that when you are in a really low place.
I don't sadly. I have a sort of chosen family but I don't think there's anything anyone can really do to help me with this.

School and work can be tough even for people who don’t suffer from mental illness and aren’t experiencing a lot of stressors. l am not working either. And l have a lot of days were l think that if l weren’t such a weak person I would be able to push through. Oh,the shame! During those days, it is helpful for me to write down everything I did that was productive-no matter how small. I will write about how l paid attention to my cat, and how l swept the kitchen floor. It might seem pathetic, but the point of the exercise is to pull my mind away from ruminating about what I’m not doing and focus more on what I am doing
Thank you I'm trying to be proud of myself for just taking care of my service pup. I appreciate the knowledge that I'm not alone more then words could express.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I can't function lately. I'm missing weeks going on months of my life. I don't know who I am anymore or where or what I'm doing 99% of the time. I'm missing so f*cking much but no I'm supposed to be normal. I'm supposed to go to class and work and be f*cking fine. and I'm not. and I don't think I ever will be.
I understand this. It sounds very familiar. I had to work, go to school, and a whole host of other things, trying to be ok. I wasn't. But I will tell you something. Things are much better now. They aren't perfect, and I still have issues, but they are much better.
 

Friday

Moderator
don't know what changed. I don't know why I was able to do it a few semesters ago but this year I can't even maintain a full week of classes. I just... I'm failing and everything is so much worse with my mental health.
Just as a reality check?

I suma cum laud’ed 4 degrees… NEVER attending all of my classes. Ever. Not one single quarter. Often taking whole months off, always taking days/weeks off. Very frequently leaving mid lecture. And still recieving the highest honors possible. In 2 hard sciences, 1 soft science, and a fine arts.

These standards you’ve set for yourself? Are just a BIT anorexic. In the sense that 749 calories are “good” and 75o are “bad/fail/horrible/wrong”.

And, yep? I’ve also dropped quarters. Because they were THAT f*cked. Still suma’d. So I really do get the “everything is wrong” aspect. In my own life, because everything was reeeeally wrong. But just because things are wrong in this moment? Doesn’t actually predict the end result. Now is not forever. It’s just now. And everything is temporary.
 
Top