Can't Get Help

[Deleted member 37720]

I'm a teen who's obviously been through some stuff but no matter what I just cannot ask my mom for therapy. I know I really need it. If I did tell her she probably would but she puts important stuff off for months and for her to even do it I'd have to be begging all the time which is embarrassing itself. I can't even tell her at all though. Can't even text it. There is a stigma in our family about this kinda stuff. Especially since my dad wants me to be masculine and I'm a feminine boy. If I show any signs of weakness he looks at me with disgrace. I would also have to seriously talk with my mom about keeping it more secret. She'll go around like "I gotta go to Luke's counseling appointment sorry can't take you anywhere cause of the counseling for this and this! I was in counseling for a short time and she did that. What do I do about this?

 

[One step at a time]

I'm really sorry your family is not accepting and supporting you in the ways that you need them to. As long as you aren't hurting others or yourself, whatever way you feel like acting - masculine, feminine, both, neither - is okay and good.

One of the hardest things for me about being a teen was that I lived in a place where my identity would have been considered "deviant" or "not normal," and at the time I saw no way out of it. Please try to remember: there are people and places and communities where you will be loved and appreciated for who you are. And if you need to get out of your current situation sooner rather than later (like before graduating high school) there are resources that might help you find a better place to be.

Can you get confidential counseling through your school?

 

[Justmehere]

Can you contact the old counselor you saw in the past and ask for their help in getting counseling? The counselor you see can help explain the importance of privacy to your mother as an essential part of what makes the counseling more effective. That might motivate her to stop blabbing about it.

Asking for help, for counseling, isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being quite brave. You've got this.

 

[Deleted member 37720]

I go to online school so no. And the last counselor I had was for a diagnosis I needed to get on hormones. She was extremely terrible so after getting the diagnosis we stopped seeing her. That would of been a good opportunity so too bad she was terrible. I was gonna actually report her but I was afraid if I did my diagnosis wouldn't count.

 

[Deleted member 37720]

Wouldn't trust any thing from her. And right now I need it for mainly trauma based stuff and grieving.

 

[Justmehere]

The doctor that is prescribing you hormones could help. Depression and suicide is a known reality among many trans teens and adults - the rate is quite high.

It doesn't nullify a diagnosis to report someone, but reporting someone is a stressful process best done with support.

What about the doc who is prescribing the hormones? Are they aware of how down you are?

The Trevor Project is a resource that might be able to help, as well as local hospice centers that sometimes run grief groups.

You may end up having to ask or tell your mother, but it may very well be worth it. People getting counseling is a really common thing nowadays.

 

[Deleted member 37720]

No my endo doesn't know. She did ask questions like if I ever tried to do something bad like that but I said no. My next appointment with is on the 12th I could try to tell her but will probably fail. I think I'd rather just try to tell my mom than do that though although my endo could prob my her understand more. So far I have only had one appointment with my endo so I'm not very comfortable with something so personal but she is really nice. I will try. If that doesn't work I will just have to tell my mom.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

What about other adults in your life? Anyone that could help? I see that you don't go to a traditional school, but maybe there are some other people that could help soften the blow or guide you?

 

[Justmehere]

No my endo doesn't know. She did ask questions like if I ever tried to do something bad like that but I said no. My next appointment with is on the 12th I could try to tell her but will probably fail.

She needs to know, and wants to help, and she already knows that so many trans folks struggle. That's why she is asking. If you don't think you can say the words out loud, write them out. Even something as simple as what you write here - or just the words, "I need confidential counseling, can you help me get this?"

Most online education programs have a guidance counselor that can be emailed, and often even more support services. They are not the ones that can provide trauma therapy, but they can help navigate this.

Keep reaching out. I know it's so hard to do. It will get easier. :hug:s

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm really sorry your family is not accepting and supporting you in the ways that you need t...

That is what I thought about too, counseling that is kept private through a school counselor might be your best way.