Can't over prepare

Starfire

Confident
I over prepare for everything. Always have. Consider the key to being successful in my career, life. Some call it perfectionism whatever. When I retired decided to train my dog, then compete, then get a second, compete in several sports at top levels then became a judge. Know this sounds trite but not to me.
Those champions went over the rainbow bridge. I needed a surgery then another. Then doc recommended a service dog. Well, want to compete with him. His teacher knew of me and asked if I had ever put an international title on a dog. A new challenge. Intense training on my part for a month. Doable.
Then found out the trial/competition is 18 days away!

Panic strikes. Thoughts from can't be prepared enough don't even try. Withdraw. No said you would! Oh go and just pass. The last is untenable. *Never* have done that. Never just *tried* to just be good enough.
Panic and extreme anxiety is getting worse. Flashbacks to PTSD events when I didn't know enough, wasn't prepared enough, didn't know how to handle it enough.
I need to learn rules, watch videos, get prepared. But the flashbacks seem exceptionally exhausting. Old ways of dealing with them are coming to the for. Things I thought long successfully eliminated. What happened to all that therapy, all that work?
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
I think 18 days is really short for preparing to that kind of things with that kind of stress. I do get it though. I am like this too.

But would be the thought to postpone this until the next competition be too awful? Because as it looks it doesn’t look reasonable to me to hammer oneself with so much stress regarding something that is, and really I don’t mean to minimize it, just one competition. I did have to renounce to stuff like this and honestly, I’m happy I did because as it was the choice was either burning off my neurons and screw the project and burn my neurons even further, either save my neurons and save my neurons.

If you’re getting intrusions because of stress levels whacking up it’s quite the ptsd cup that has hit the lid.
 

Starfire

Confident
Thank you for replying. You are right. 18 days is a ridiculous ask. I only trained one thing with my dog today. He is good but as a judge, I see all the little possibly points off. He's my ADA mobility dog. Mainly picking things up for me but his trainer lives with PTSD, so she taught him some anxiety reducing methods. Poor guy all I wanted was to be left alone. He refused. Followed his training. Now I have an exhausted SD too.

Glad to hear there is somebody else like me out there. Sad too. Just can't believe how everything just erupted and poured out like the very first day.

Take care of yourself. There should be a time limit on this stuff. Thanks again.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
You’re welcome! It’s always crap to feel ourselves less than, especially when we had some habit of just deal with it… until… uhm… well… not. I hope it will go okay for you! The onsets of PTSD sometimes are mysterious, sometimes less, but it’s always crap that is a certitude! Perhaps next year you and the doggo will be more in shape ❤️
 
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