Starfire
MyPTSD Pro
I over prepare for everything. Always have. Consider the key to being successful in my career, life. Some call it perfectionism whatever. When I retired decided to train my dog, then compete, then get a second, compete in several sports at top levels then became a judge. Know this sounds trite but not to me.
Those champions went over the rainbow bridge. I needed a surgery then another. Then doc recommended a service dog. Well, want to compete with him. His teacher knew of me and asked if I had ever put an international title on a dog. A new challenge. Intense training on my part for a month. Doable.
Then found out the trial/competition is 18 days away!
Panic strikes. Thoughts from can't be prepared enough don't even try. Withdraw. No said you would! Oh go and just pass. The last is untenable. *Never* have done that. Never just *tried* to just be good enough.
Panic and extreme anxiety is getting worse. Flashbacks to PTSD events when I didn't know enough, wasn't prepared enough, didn't know how to handle it enough.
I need to learn rules, watch videos, get prepared. But the flashbacks seem exceptionally exhausting. Old ways of dealing with them are coming to the for. Things I thought long successfully eliminated. What happened to all that therapy, all that work?
Those champions went over the rainbow bridge. I needed a surgery then another. Then doc recommended a service dog. Well, want to compete with him. His teacher knew of me and asked if I had ever put an international title on a dog. A new challenge. Intense training on my part for a month. Doable.
Then found out the trial/competition is 18 days away!
Panic strikes. Thoughts from can't be prepared enough don't even try. Withdraw. No said you would! Oh go and just pass. The last is untenable. *Never* have done that. Never just *tried* to just be good enough.
Panic and extreme anxiety is getting worse. Flashbacks to PTSD events when I didn't know enough, wasn't prepared enough, didn't know how to handle it enough.
I need to learn rules, watch videos, get prepared. But the flashbacks seem exceptionally exhausting. Old ways of dealing with them are coming to the for. Things I thought long successfully eliminated. What happened to all that therapy, all that work?